This week we turn to junior football player and track runner Travis Oman. After three weeks of delaying this interview for one reason or another, here’s hoping it will be worth the wait.

So it’s been a long day, which included getting “iced” by Larry the equipment manager...that sucked.

TO: That does suck. I would hope to be nimble enough to get out of Larry’s way.

You’re telling me, he’s like a non-combatant — he’s not supposed to be involved in that. Anyways, his day will come.

TO: What are you going to do, ice bucket him through the cage?

Stupid cage. One day I will beat him in racquetball, and it will be game over, Larry. Ok, so moving on to things that don’t involve embarrassing me, how’s the track season coming along?

TO: It’s coming along pretty well, we’re having a lot of fun.

How has the team been placing and how have you been doing as an individual?

TO: I mean, we still have, like, those few athletes that always do extremely well. Most of them are on the girls’ side. I don’t know, our team is getting better overall. And me personally, I’ve been running better in the relays.

I mean, my hat’s off to you. Anyone that can run and call it fun – that’s something special.

TO: I don’t know if I would call it fun. I more do it for the competition, actually. It’s one of those few sports where it’s you against the other person. And there’s no one to point fingers at if you lose.

Have you ever considered playing croquet? It’s a game of both skill and strategy and also involving no one to point fingers at. Although, the last time I played, I swear my opponent’s masher thingy was corked.

TO: Who would cork a masher thingy? I didn’t realize croquet was that competitive.

Oh yeah, well, uh, ya know — I do live in Ohio after all. We have to make do with “sports” here.

TO: When is croquet season; is it in the spring? Because if it’s in the spring it rains too much. Do you play in the rain?

Of course we play in the rain, what do I look like, a baseball player? The season is, winter…ish, with a dash of summer...kind of.

TO: So basically you play whenever the hell you feel like it.

TO: Way to go on that one.

Have you ever thought of pole vaulting?

TO: I’d rather not get impaled on the end of a long stick.

Does that happen often? I’m missing out.

TO: I don’t know, but I’d be the one who it would probably happen to.

Have you seen the Jamaican Olympic track team advertisement on TV?

TO: No, I haven’t yet.

It’s great, although if I were Nike I don’t think I would want to sponsor them. The U.S. is good at track, and so are the Kenyans.

TO: The U.S. and Jamaica are good at sprinting, but the Kenyans can run forever. If there were a race where you ran until you were dead, the Kenyans would win.

That’s an interesting concept — so who gets the medal if they’re dead? Wouldn’t second and third place still be alive and therefore move up a spot?

TO: See, it’s to the last one living — the last one living is going to get the gold.

Ah, I see, so there’s no second place, eh?

TO: Second place to the first loser.

That’s harsh. I’ve heard that there is no second place in sports before, but that’s just a bit far. Anywho, what events do you run for the track team?

TO: I run everything from the 200 up to the 800.

Any relays?

TO: We ran the 4x100 once and that was fun. I usually run the 4x400.

So what did y’all do over Spring Break?
TO: My room, four guys, we had a push-up contest over the week to see who could do the most push-ups over the entire week. Me and [sophomore] Adam Morris went out one night and just loaded up on sugar, and I did something about 350 push-ups on the sidewalk on the side of the store. Afterwards Adam got the idea that he could run an excellent 400 at the time, so we went back to the room, got his spikes, went to the track (this being 2:30 am) and Adam ran two 400s, probably not the best he’s ever ran them. Needless to say, Adam won the push-up contest due to it being a little unfair to the rest of us because Adam wasn’t competing that weekend.

Why wasn’t he competing?

TO: Adam is red-shirting this year because he’s had some problems.

TO: I think he was planning on spending a fifth year here anyways.

All right, well, I’m late for work as it is, so let’s wrap this thing up. Any final knowledge you wanna drop on me? You like my dancing hamster?

TO: I’m speechless. Wow.

[Hamster dances and sings “Leroy Brown”]

And with that, another rodent and an interview meet their end.