New group to address men's issues

Group's flyers vandalized

Since early April a group of men have been meeting weekly to discuss the issues that surround being men in today's society. The group is strictly male-only, and one of the original members, sophomore Ramy Khalil, said that the group has just discovered that such a policy is against College rules, which state that all students are allowed to attend any meeting or gathering.

Earlier this semester, sophomore Per Eisenman and first-year Andrew Richardson attended a men's meeting in town and were impressed with the group's array of activities, such as drumming, story telling and poetry reading.

Some of the original founders feared that such a group would evolve into a theoretical and intellectual discussion. "[The meeting attended] was much more holistic and inspiring," Khalil said.

Their positive experience encouraged them to start a similar group on-campus.

"It is just really neat to be in a space that is only men. It is nice to have a space like that," Eisenman said."

"A lot of people think that there is no place for a men's gathering because we have been privileged because of our gender. But all issues of oppression implicitly involve the oppressor," senior Noam Birnbaum said. "I think it is helpful for men to be in touch with each other on a private level," he said.

"If you can get men to overcome the strong macho gender role that they are taught to play, you can stop imperialistic aggression and environmental degradation and rape," Khalil said.

Members agree that the group is hard to define because it is loosely organized and takes on the role that individual members want it to have. "I think everyone goes for different reasons and my reasons aren't anyone else's," Birnbaum said.

Members were careful to add that their comments represent only themselves, and that the group has no defined leader or hierarchy.

"In a way it is a support group and in a way it is a place for men to explore issues of being a man," Eisenman said.

"We talk a lot about things that are missing from western society from a man's point of view," member Joey Rizzolo, a junior, said.

Khalil said that even though he feels strongly that the men's gathering is a beneficial and powerful thing, changes are still slow and difficult. "My vision is not the reality completely. It is not that easy," he said. He said that one reason for inefficiency is that the group has no defined and explicit purpose.

While the group is focusing on personal introspective issues at their meeting, Rizzolo said that its sheer existence could be perceived as political as well. "The group itself isn't geared [politically], but we know that some people will respond to it that way. We aren't out to affect people as a group," he said.

When the group was organizing, one member put up signs that were later ridiculed by fliers, which parodized the original signs. Khalil said that the second signs attacked the group as "a group of whining privileged men complaing about their privilege."

Another round of fliers, this time attacking the second signs, went up. Lastly, a fourth group of signs that a non-member man designed in defense of the idea of a men's gathering were posted.

"I think it is sad," Khalil said. "I think that feminist women need to include men in the reconstruction of gender roles," he said. "I could tell it was a woman by the handwriting."

After the sign controversies, the group decided not to pursue the issue politically on- campus and not put up more signs. Members are now relying on word of mouth to spread information about the gathering.

Members feel that Oberlin is a community that will benefit from a men's gathering. "I think that despite Oberlin's nonconformist reputation, gender roles are engrained into out minds much more than we are aware of," Khalil said,

Rizzolo said he feels Oberlin is one extreme where a men's gathering is needed. "A lot of males at Oberlin have no identity rather than just stereotypes," he said. Rizzolo said that many generalized images of men, while not overwhelmingly present at Oberlin, still create a space in which men's identities are limited.

"I know I have felt it was something that was needed," Eisenman said.

Many members spoke of the unique feeling of being in a group of only men. Eisenman said that most groups at Oberlin are overwhelmingly female, and so the make-up of this group is particularly interesting and refreshing for him.

"It is a safe space for men to be men, just as much as Baldwin is a safe space for women to be women," Rizzolo said.