Commentary
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Commentary
Essay
by Vayram A. Nyradroh

Look at your friends, look around you, and open your eyes

To those people who don't understand students of color positions or their struggle to define themselves on their own terms, this is for you.

Sometimes I wonder if you're jealous. What other explanation can there be for you turning our empowerment and our celebration of our culture and heritage into something negative? Is it fear? Maybe it's your naivete or ignorance. Regardless of the reason, you need to realize that when we celebrate our culture it doesn't mean that we're denigrating white culture. Very few of us go around and say that whites should be ashamed of their culture (note: culture and history are two different concepts). And even fewer of us work at making whites ashamed of their culture. Is it not possible for us to embrace, be proud of, and affirm our people without being accused of doggin' others? To be perfectly honest we ... (hold up, let me stop talking for all people of color. This is how I feel so that's the context I'll put this essay in. But don't be surprised if other people of color agree with me). So let me be perfectly honest and real here. I don't spend my time thinking up ways to make whites feel as if they don't count. I'm working too hard to counter what American society has been telling me my whole life - that I'm not important because I'm Black, that I'm inferior, that my people are a burden on American society ... (the list goes on). And I won't even get into the 1,001 stereotypes that are thrown in my face, that I struggle to fight against, everyday. So if I, and other people of color, are dealing with these and similar issues, why, may I ask, would I shift my energy away from dealing with them by plotting out ways to make whites feel that they have no culture? I'd be lying if I said that I don't think about turning the tables, but I don't center my life around doing so. My main concern is placing myself, and other people of color, on an equal playing field.

When I, as a student of color, celebrate myself and my people, I'm not telling you that you can't do the same. Go and celebrate your culture. Take pride in it. Culture helps define all of us and it's what helps to form our identities. But don't have the audacity to knock me for affirming myself and my culture simply because you don't have the presence of mind, the motivation or the desire to do the same.

College is supposed to be a place where we grow. And hopefully, we all learn to love ourselves and take pride in ourselves so that we'll have the self-confidence, the strength, and the foundation to stand strong when we go out into the world. For all minorities, this becomes even more important because we're in a society that, frankly, doesn't give two shits about us and has no qualms about telling us so.

I would like to make a few things very clear: I am not on this campus to make you feel more comfortable around Blacks. I am not on this campus so you can proudly proclaim that you're not racist because you have a Black friend. I am not on this campus to tell you that you don't count, to belittle you, or to trivialize the things you believe in (though, you tell me this in countless ways everyday, and you, plus other, will continue to tell me this long after I leave Oberlin). But most importantly, I am not on this campus to prove myself to you or to explain myself to you.

Do you realize how exhausting it is to explain, and justify yourself, your people and your culture everywhere you go -- not just in Oberlin -- but everyday of your life?

This essay is not about whining, and it's not about cutting you down because you don't understand my experience. I'm doing this so you can get a better idea of where I'm coming from since for some reason, you're too scared to come up to me and ask me straight out. The fact of the matter is, it's not up to me to teach you about my culture. If you want to know about me then come up and find out. If my self-empowerment and self-affirmation threatens you, makes you uncomfortable, or unhappy, or angry then that's on you. I see no reason why I should bend over backwards to make you feel comfortable in a world that is already geared towards making you feel like you're number one. As harsh as this sounds, it's true: keeping you happy is not, will not and cannot be my priority.

In terms of Steffany Haaz's examples of exclusion by students of color in the April 11 issue of the Review, I would like to se the record straight. First of all, Dance Diaspora has open auditions so if a white students wants to audition, there is nobody stopping them. If you're good enough, then you get in, irregardless of your race. So it's white students fault for Dance Diaspora's lack of white student participation, not Dance Diaspora's. Also, all of the multicultural events I've been to on this campus have had white students present. In fact, the only place that I know of where white students are not seen are in the student of color organization meetings. But those meetings aren't geared toward teaching people about our cultures anyway. The reason why students of color have campus-wide events is so all students can participate. If people choose not to attend, then that's their decision.

Now, the segregation issue: Why is it that when students of color sit together it's segregation, but when white students sit together, it's just a group of students sitting together? I sit with other students of color because they're my friends, not because I'm trying to segregate myself. When I'm with those friends, I don't have to worry about explaining myself, justifying my behavior or changing the way I talk. I can relax and just be myself. If my turning to my friends for that space and support is segregation, the so be it. But before you go and make such a loaded accusation, you better be sure that you're not guilty of the same crime.

So for all those students who feel that only students of color segregate themselves here's my challenge to you: try turning that critical lens on yourself. Look at your friends. Look around you. And open your eyes. You'll probably be shocked to find out that you're not as blameless, or as innocent, as you like to claim.

Vayram A. Nyadroh is a first semester college senior.

Oberlin

Copyright © 1997, The Oberlin Review.
Volume 125, Number 22, April 25, 1997

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