IM softball gives non-athletes a chance

As the Spring semester winds to a close, sports fans throughout our lovely campus will undoubtedly scratch their heads and ask themselves the question that crosses my mind every day as I wake up and stare out the window into the beautiful sun: what day is it?

Afterward, they will get dressed, come to their senses and ask themselves another, more important question: where can I find some good athletic competition in this God-forsaken town?

The answer, my friends, is simple - the Oberlin softball fields!

Laugh if you must, but intramural softball might just be the purest, most democratic sport in Oberlin. Because of its simplicity, it provides athletes and non-athletes alike with a unique opportunity to relive their glory days, to step up to the plate and hit the game-winning home run that might have eluded them during their high school careers. In short, it makes heroes out of chumps, winners out of losers and champions out of Conservatory students and cripples. "I have bad knees, a sore arm and two broken legs," said senior Adam Feitelberg. "I may be a weakling, but that hasn't stopped me from participating in this year's softball league."

During the past three weeks, eight intramural softball teams have been battling each other every Tuesday and Thursday for food, fun and a chance to dethrone Southern Comfort, the team that has won the intramural softball league championships for the past three years. Led by double-degree fifth-year Greg Akagi, Southern Comfort has lost just three games during that remarkable stretch. Even so, they will face their stiffest competition in years this Tuesday, when they will face the Boston-based Mighty Bananas in a showdown for the league title.

"We learned everything we know from batting lessons with Red Sox great Nomar Garciaparra," said Bananas captain Ross Drake. "For that reason, I am confident that we can thrash a bunch of opera singers and physics majors."

Junior Jonathan Stoper echoed those sentiments. "We can beat Southern Comfort," he said. "After all, who drinks Southern Comfort? It's not exactly the strongest drink in the world. For that matter, it doesn't even taste that good. I prefer whiskey. And besides, I am James."

Although the members of Southern Comfort had no response for such accusations at press time, it is certain that they will arrive on Tuesday ready to play. The championships will begin at 4 p.m. Anyone with any respect for themselves and the game of softball will be in attendance. So come out and cheer for the non-athletes!

Not on our field: An Intramural softball player takes a swing at athletics. (photo by Wes Steele)