Oberlin
Ultimate Brings the Heat to Versailles
There
is beauty in the pursuit of truth, someone once said. Or maybe
not, but thats the point. The point is that last weekend on
Sept. 20 and 21, the Oberlin Flying Horsecows, cleverly disguised
in two different forms as Team Farenheit and Team Celsius/Kelvin,
competed in Club Sectionals, the first tournament of the year for
the mens ultimate team. Versailles (ver-SAY-uhlz), Ohio was
the location of the East Plains sectional contests, which pitted
old-man club teams in the height of their season against fresh-faced
college squads several months away from their spring seasons. All
came to duke it out for spots at Club Regionals and subsequently
Club Nationals.
In past years, the Horsecows have usually sent two squads
an A-team, filled with experienced vets, and a B-team, composed
mostly of rookies and underclassmen. But this year, the team split
into two vaguely equal squads, the aforementioned measures of temperature:
Celsius the lanky, tall team; and Farenheit
the short, scrappy team.
Farenheit, led by senior co-captain Nate Coyote Marsh,
was the younger and wilier squad. Fº was ranked third in the
C pool, not too shabby. Eager to prove themselves a competitive
team, they started the day battling perennial rival the University
of Dayton, also known as Ghetto Force. Dayton quickly got off to
a sizable lead, taking advantage of the teams inexperience.
By half-time the score was 7-2, a sizable deficit. Unwilling to
give up, the team rallied back in the second half going point to
point against Ghetto Force, but could not close the gap, and lost
13-8. Yeah, that sucks, like inhaling a cherry or cashing
a bowl on your favorite hippy pants, first-year Silas Cletus
Cole said.
Celsius, a brash and overconfident bunch of scalawags, were led
by senior co-captains Rich Raz and senior salt machines Adam Marvel
Marvel and Jacob JKD Kramer-Duffield. Seeded third in
their pool, Kelvins first contest pitted them against Black
Lung, who were a veritable salt mine to Oberlins shaker of
Mortons. The wily old veterans, however, were not to be underestimated,
having finished a surprising fourth in the previous years
sectionals. As the captains of the team pointed out in pre-game
warm-ups, they had been playing ultimate for longer than most of
Celsius had been alive. Then they put on another layer of Ben-Gay.
At nine in the morning. Unprepared for the devious ways of Old Lung,
Oberlin quickly fell behind 4-0. Celsius did bring it back and played
basically point-for-point for the rest of the game, but spotting
a lead proved deadly and the team fell 12-8 in a time-capped game.
First-year scoring sensation Brian Paul Pitcher Kenny
remarked as the game was wrapping up,
and I said, yeah,
but what do you expect me to do with all these crab suits? So then
it got ugly.
With a second-round bye, the metric measurement of temperature boys
went over and watched their illogically-measured compatriots, Fº,
play a game against Cuyahoga Sheet Metal, a club team made up of
many familiar Cleveland area players. This game showcased the squads
continual improvement as they worked it almost effortlessly through
CSMs salty zone defense. The team rapidly adjusted to CSMs
defense, taking advantage of stand-out play by sophomore transfer
Jesse Lynch, and first-years Ted Sandman Olds and Will
Dominie keep them in the game. Unfortunately, mental errors and
overall lack of spunk threw the team back in the hole, losing 12-6.
Sophomore Bryan Wolly Woliner was heard to say Fuck
it dude, lets go bowling. Amazingly, bowling didnt
really work out.
Celsius prepared to take on a club team loosely affiliated with
the College of Wooster, Rampant COW (cow, get it, College of Wooster?
Ha ha ha). Seeded fifth in Kelvins pool, this was a must-win
if the team hoped to play into the upper bracket on Sunday. After
a dominating beginning, Oberlin let up the intensity and coasted
over a couple of rough spots for a 13-6 victory. Speaking of the
seniors sloppy play in the Rampant COW match, Marvel summed
up the frustration with the simple lament, Corn flakes, get
me the corn flakes!
The next team to face the American standardized units of thermal
energy within a system was Case Western University, the Fighting
Gobies. Even with heavy rotation and lackadaisical effort, Oberlin
won handily, 13-7. Winning his first game ever, first-year Jon Gilly
Gillam, excitedly remarked, Bling-bling, how about that?
Celsius next marched into battle in the days hardest game,
against rival and mostly OSU-composed Madcow. The game featured
a serious improvement in effort over previous contests, as the Kelvin
remained competive through the first half, which went 7-4 for Madcow,
and played a closer second half than the 13-6 final would indicate.
Stepping it up in this contest were junior Mikes Hamm and Degnan
and first-year Wilson Principal Skinner, who all provided
solid offensive efforts to complement the frenetic defensive efforts
of sophomores Clark Cesare Ainsworth and Noah That
Guy Hoskins-Forsyth.
Coming off the uplifting Case win, Farenheit next went up against
Age against the Machine, a group of old old Cincinnati club players,
many missing teeth and any sense of self-respect. Although old and
slow, they were smart and sneaky, which gave them an edge that our
inexperience could not surmount. Fº lost a disappointing 13-6.
Bitter junior Dan Gohan Scott asserted, If I didnt
have 1300 mg of donkey tranquilizer coursing through my veins, I
wouldnt be having a such time good. The defeat was the
last game for Fº on Saturday.
Celsius last game pitted the team against a Dayton club team
featuring the handling talents of Dumbface McStupidhead (note: not
his real name), who seemed to have a most tenuous grasp on what
the object of frisbee is (hint: to have fun). Kelvin ran play early
and took half 7-5 in a game that could easily have featured a much
larger Celsius lead. The team, exhausted by a day under the unforgiving
sun and out of shape from a summer of beer and sausage, was visibly
stumbling as the second half began. They gave up three straight
points to the old men and fell behind, 8-7. It looked as though
not only were the hopes for the game quickly slipping but also the
prospect of competitive Sunday play was fast disappearing. Following
a timeout, the team gathered all they had left heart,
all heart and demolished Dayton with a combination
of smart handling (courtesy Raz, Marvel and JKD), ferocious defense
(courtesy Ainsworth and first-year God Steve Kleinman)
and unstoppable long play (courtesy Degnan, Hamm, Marvel and Raz).
The old men had no answer, and Celsius gained a spot in the upper
bracket on Sunday.
Composed of perennial Ohio club all-stars and most of last years
dominant Heartland team, along with a slew of Ohio University alums,
Burn had outscored their opponents by 46 points in four games on
Saturday. The insouciant Kelvin Kows were undeterred, and on the
first point succeeded in going deep to Hamm. Infuriated by the young
upstarts, with the game tied at three Burn put on their A-game and
held Oberlin scoreless for the rest of the game to advance to the
sectional semifinal.
An early morning forfeit by Wooster easily doubled the teams
wins. The next game was against Dayton club, a team of mostly older
club players. This was the closest game Fº would play all weekend.
Dayton, unaware of many fundamental rules, was a quite salty and
an unpleasant team to play against. Dayton won the half 7-5 and
then fell behind 11-10. Fºs fragile lead was not to last;
Dayton pulled ahead in the waning points and defeated Fº 13-11.
The next game was another forfeit, this time by Denison. Thus ended
Fº s run, giving them a solid 11th place. Fº did
however, win the Spirit of the Game award, given to the team which
exhibits the best sportsmanship. Sophomore William Miller
Miller said, Thats cool, itd been cooler if there
was a naked chick included.
Given that both Lung and Age against the Machine were to receive
automatic bids for regionals in the masters division, both forfeited
their games in the middle bracket and Oberlin faced off against
Daytons college team, Ghetto Force, for the fifth place spot.
Oberlin and Dayton have a storied history of competition, with OC
having beaten Ghetto Force for a bid to College Nationals in 1999
and again sending them home from College Regionals in 2000. So it
was with no shortage of history that the teams faced off this Sunday
in Versailles.
Celsius came out of the gate hard and at times seemed ready to blow
Dayton out of the water, but a stiff wind and a Dayton affinity
for cleaning up the garbage kept the game close. First-year Skinner
put it best when he said, Those guys are so good at picking
up trash, its a wonder theyre all not in the mob. Say,
you ever seen The Sopranos? Thats a pretty sweet
TV show. Oberlin took half, and kept a cushion of several
points through the second half, eventually taking a 12-10 lead and
pulling out the victory 13-11.
Following the end of regulation play, some from Celsius and some
from Farenheit came together in a truly inspiring show of unity
to play a game that meant nothing against Age Against the Machine.
Beautiful like a sunset, the tournament too faded into the horizon
and into the haze, haze, haze of memory.
Seniors
Jacob Kramer-Duffield, Nate Marsh and junior Dan Scott are members
of the ultimate frisbee team.
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