Athlete Of the Week

Junior co-captain Laura Feeney knows what it takes to finish. In last week’s All-Ohio Championships, Feeney paced all Yeowomen runners finishing in 10th place among all Division III runners and 56th place overall. Her finish, along with teammates junior Lori Tuchfeld and sophomore Julia Goeke, who both finished in the top 20 among Division III runners, vaulted the team to a 17th place finish overall and a fourth place finish among Division III teams. Feeney ran a time of 20:03, besting many Division I runners.
The All-Ohio Championships is a unique event that allows all schools in Ohio to run against each other to see who is the best overall. All divisions compete for overall places and each division has their own placing.
With Feeney’s strong showing at this event, Oberlin can begin to look down the road to the North Coast Athletic Conference Championships to be held at Wabash (Ind.) College on Oct. 27.
Co-captains Tuchfeld and junior Kyle McKenzie will look to join Feeney and Goeke to pace the Yeowomen at the event.
Feeney and the rest of the Yeowomen runners will head to Ada, Ohio this Saturday to run in the Ohio Northern Invitational. The race will begin at 10 a.m.
Feeney has proved herself a giant among midgets so far this season, finishing high in the standings every time she steps onto the course. On Oct. 27 she plans to prove herself yet again at the NCAC Championships, where she hopes to lead her team to a top three finish.

Marquee Event

Baseball,
Saturday, vs. LCCC,
Doubleheader
12 p.m. and 2 p.m.

So you thought baseball was only a spring sport? Think again. Come watch the Yeomen round the bases as they take on Lorain County Community College in their last two games of the fall season. C’mon, what else are you going to do that early on a Saturday morning? Just show up already.

In the Locker Room with. . .

If you see the Leisure Time Butt Pirate and the Unsophisticated Monkey-Man jumping off Bug House or stair sliding on a cookie sheet don’t be surprised, it has all happened before. Lacrosse players Erik Vachon and Dave Smolev always find a way to entertain themselves.

So what's the story with the cuddling?

EV: It all started with his mullet and went from there.
DS: I love the way his big head radiates warmth...it's like a furnace.

Erik, did you do anything in honor of coming out week?

EV: I cuddled with Dave.
DS: I heard you went out and bought a bunch of really overpriced jeans, then modeled them in front of your own mirror for hours.

Rumor has it these two and the rest of Bug House had a good time last weekend.

When jumping off roofs, what's the best way to land?

EV: On your ass.
DS: Anyway as not to fuck yourself up.

Who exactly are the Leisure Time Butt Pirate and The Unsophisticated Monkey-Man, or better known as Team Yeast Infection?

DS: I have no idea who you're talking about.
EV: That would be Dave and Brendan Cullinane naked, oiled-up sliding down the stair case together.
DS: I heard they are an olympic quality luge team.

Speaking of those two, Smolev, what the hell happened to your ass?

DS: I don’t know, the Monkey-Man did it.
EV: He got friction burn.

So who are you guys rooting for to win the $200,000 and trip around
the world on “Love Cruise,” Michael and Janette or Melissa and Daren?

DS: In the long run, I was hoping for Ralph and Laura cause he’s a pimp,
and she’s a fox, but I guess Melissa and Daren cause Michael’s a fat goof and reminds me too much of Erik.
EV: I say Britney and Justin. (as Erik starts to watch the “Dear Chassie
Lane” video by the Blood Hound Gang, oh yeah, the unedited version)

Is it true you two are applying for the next season of “Survivor”?

EV: No.
DS: Of course, I’m going to outwit them like Richard did.

How do you figure you'll make it past the first round?

DS: The Monkey-Man’s a great outdoorsman.

Erik, I heard you have fantasies that you’re from New York and all you do is walk around shopping and listening to techno music?

EV: No comment.

Dave I heard you have fantasies about running around in a jockstrap with your cat on a leash singing “Kiss the Girl” from the Little Mermaid...for real, what is your problem?

EV: You’re sick Dave.
DS: I don’t even know what you're talking about, where do you come up with this stuff?

Alright, a quick few final questions:

What’s it like living with [Senior, Mike] Wexler?

EV: I'll have to answer that at a later time. (As Wexler is watching Jenna Jameson porn...and yelling).
DS: I hear things I wish I didn’t.

How afraid will you be when Brendan gets the Bug House Shotgun?

EV: He said he’d keep it locked up except when he's really drunk.
Mike Wexler: I'm moving out if he gets it...and you better not write
anything about me.
DS: He’s right above me, so I’m just waiting for it to go off and kill me one night while I'm sleeping. Sorry Wexler, it just wouldn’t be funny without you.

Finally, Dave, are you attracted to Jesse Kipp?

DS: Since he cut his hair, no, he just doesn’t do it for me.

Could this interview possibly be any more twisted?

Upcoming Events

Football
Saturday, at Hiram,
2 p.m.

Women’s Soccer
Saturday, at Hiram,
12 p.m.
Sunday, at Baldwin Wallace,
4 p.m.

Volleyball
Saturday, vs. Case Western Reserve,
1 p.m.

Cross Country
Saturday, at Ohio Northern Invitational,
10 a.m.

Men’s Soccer
Saturday, at Hiram,
2 p.m.

Field Hockey
Saturday, at Wooster,
11 a.m.

Baseball
Saturday, vs. LCCC,
Doubleheader,
12 p.m. and 2 p.m.