Pointless Questions...with Aaron Mucciolo

Yes, I have returned. Yes, I’m in the Arts section. No, Blake and I are no longer speaking. Kidding, let’s get to the questions.

Mooch, where have you been for the last two weeks?

Last week I was out of town at a foreign affairs conference at the U.S. Naval Academy. It was loads of fun and I learned many new things about policy, Iran, and why you should never get into a drinking match with a Marine.
The week before that there was no space in the Perspectives section for my column. If you’d like to demand that space always be saved for your edification, e-mail blake.rehberg@oberlin.edu.

Why aren’t we allowed onto the balconies at Stevenson? Is it really true that it’s because the engineers forgot to factor in the weight of the people? –Joel Corelitz, conservatory senior

Nope. We can’t use the balcony because of fire regulations. Several years back, ResLife was considering expanding the seating onto the porch to increase capacity and give diners more seating options. The considerations ended when the town fire marshal informed the College that there was, in the words of Michelle Gross, Associate Director of ResLife, “not sufficient egress” to have both diners and emergency exits. “It’s just not big enough,” said Gross.
Gross wasn’t certain if the balcony was ever intended for dining al fresco. “As far as I know it was never intended to have people on it,” said Gross. “[I]t was always decorative and used for an emergency exit.” She based her guess in part on the relative unattractiveness of the balcony area, particularly the cages on the columns at each end.
Senior Hans Petersen, who researched the planning of Stevenson, wasn’t totally sure that the architects didn’t intend the balcony to be more than just decorative. He noted that they were Modernists, a school of design that values function over form. But while that debate might not be soon settled, here’s another one we can start: Petersen mentioned that the building was definitely “way over budget” and, more importantly, there is long-standing speculation that the firm that won the contract would not have done so if one of the partners wasn’t an old friend of former president Fred Starr.

In what way are steeples involved in steeplechases? –Wendy Taylor, college senior

The steeplechase is a foot race, usually 3,000 meters long, involving four large hurdles and a water hazard. I think it’s a little weird too, but it’s fun to watch.
It is also a horseracing event historically run across open country, although today it is generally run on closed tracks, with similar jumps or other obstacles. It is from this latter instance that the name derives—when the races were run through open country, church steeples were usually the most noticeable landmarks in those more rural areas.

Why have you been carrying a plastic toy rifle around campus?

It’s a prop for Piscapo’s Arm’s sketch comedy extravaganza. This Saturday at 7 and 8:30 in the ‘Sco.

Was that a shameless plug?

Yes it was.

You’re just trying to fill space, aren’t you?

Curses, you’re on to my clever scheme. Let’s get back to some questions.

Dear pointless question dude. What’s the deal with “sun sneezes?” Are they a real biological phenomenon? Am I crazy if I say I suffer from them? –Emily Grotheer, college first-year

Sneezing in reaction to bright light, including the sun, is an actual physiological condition. I’ve had it happen to me (although not all the time), and various other people around campus have likewise reported it happening to them. Medical journals have made note of the phenomenon for over 40 years, labeling it everything from “photic sneeze reflex” to the “ACHOO syndrome” (oh those wacky scientists).
As for what it is, no one really knows. It seems only about 1-in-4 people have it, and there don’t appear to be any significant benefits or deterrents to the reaction. The couple of professors I talked to in neuroscience were unaware of any well-established explanations (but Assistant Professor Lynne Bianchi is now “intrigued” and plans to look around for more information).
The best (read: only) explanation I found was from a Dr. Tom Wilson of the Washington University School of Medicine. Dr. Wilson notes that involuntary reactions involve a stimulus (say, the sun on your eyes), a trip to the brain, and then a trip back to whatever needs to react (say, your pupils getting smaller so you don’t go blind). It would appear in the case of ACHOO syndrome that the information to make your pupils get smaller also tells your nose, lungs, chest muscles, etc. to sneeze — something that would normally only happen when there was a stimulus like dirt or a virus in your nose.
As for why this crossover happens, the good doctor had to admit defeat. He and others theorize that it may just be a remnant from evolution. If I find out anything else, y’all be the first to know.

Ever wondered where babies come from, how planes fly, or whatever happened to Bobcat Goldthwait? E-mail aaron.mucciolo@oberlin.edu or write to Pointless Questions, c/o The Oberlin Review, Wilder Box 90, Oberlin OH, 44074. Your name will be used only with your permission.