Your main fault: NO patience and NO humility. Still working on those. Your favorite occupation: Police officer. It was my first job and was a “rush” (old ’60s expression). Until you have been in a high-speed chase or wrestled assailants to the ground, you have not lived. Your idea of happiness: I’m happiest when my wife’s Alzheimer’s seems to subside for a few hours/days. She started humming a tune the other day, and it brought tears to my eyes. It seemed like old times. For the last several years I have been an ordained sub deacon in the Orthodox Church. Serving on the altar is my peaceful refuge from the craziness of this world. Finally, I really appreciate it when all of my children and grandchildren can get together at one time. They are spread all over the country, so, regrettably, that’s a rare occurrence. Your idea of misery: Honestly, I can’t think of a time I have been truly miserable in my life. Made lots of mistakes that I wish I could correct. I guess the good Lord has a plan for me, and I bumble along trying to do my best. If not yourself, who you would be: This answer probably illustrates how compli- cated a person I am. First, I have always wanted to be a monk, a recluse somewhere praying to God. Then there is my fascination with the military and firearms. Raised by a hunter, my brother and I were given weapons in elemen- tary school, and for years I pursued a hobby in Civil War history. To this day, I enjoy shooting and collecting guns. So, I guess I would have liked to try my hand with Special Forces, Seal Team 6 stuff. I am hugely patriotic, so this would be a great fit. Where you would like to live: In a monastery. Your favorite authors: Civil War historian Shelby Foote, political commentator Charles Krauthammer, novelist Umberto Eco, Saint Paul, Orthodox theologians, Saint Nikolai Velimirovich and Father Seraphim Rose, James Herriot, Ralph Nader, Alexander Solzhenitsyn, to name a few. Actually, I find fiction pretty silly and escapist. I prefer non- fiction—theology and political commentary (particularly conservative). Your heroes/heroines in real life: Anyone who sticks up for what they believe, who will take a stand—even if we’re on the opposite ends of the political spectrum. Too many folks are simply disengaged from it all, and I mean Obies as well. My parents and my wife also serve as my heroes. Characters in history you most dislike: Despots, and that includes Obama. Your heroes/heroines in world history: For years Ralph Nader was my champion, but that has waned due to his unbridled support of pro-choice and the Palestinians. As for heroes in world history, I certainly appreciate Martin Luther King and his enduring contributions, as well as Father Arseny, an Orthodox priest tortured/imprisoned by the Soviets. Then there is Islamic critic Ayaan Hirsi Ali. From my reading of military history, most of my heroes were generals like Patton, MacArthur, Ulysses S. Grant, and Robert E. Lee. Your favorite food and drink: Indian cuisine. My wife and I enjoyed a long relationship with the Hare Krishna movement, and she developed into a spectacular cook. Your favorite names: Russian. When I was younger, I was fascinated with Russian weight lifters, and as I got older I took part in some serious weight training myself. For a period of time, the greatest weight lifter in history was heavyweight Vasily Alexseyev. I desperately wanted to call my oldest boy “Alexeev,” but my first wife would have nothing of it. What you hate the most: POLITICAL CORRECTNESS—THE DREADED MALIGNANCY OF THIS CAMPUS AND COUNTRY! Your favorite musical artists: Ballet performer Mikhail Baryshnikov, Baroque viol player Jordi Savall, Miles Davis, Wynton Marsalis. Basically anything Baroque, Medieval, Renaissance, or Byzantine. In the old days, I was fascinated with being a rock guitarist. So my “heroes” were luminaries like Duane Allman, Hendrix, Michael Bloomfield, Clapton, Robert Johnson, Mick Taylor, and Stevie Ray Vaughan. I also got heavily into bluegrass with Doc Watson and Ralph Stanley. The natural talent you’d like to be gifted with: Tolerance and public speaking. How you wish to die: In my liturgical vestments after I have fulfilled my caretaking duties to my wife. Your present state of mind: All I know is that I have been blessed with a great life. All I ask from anyone reading this who may have known me: please forgive me for anything I did that may have hurt you in any way. Fault for which you have most toleration: Gosh, can’t think of one. Sorry. Your favorite motto: Get in the game! n “THE SHOW ONLY LASTED SEVEN MINUTES, AS THE BAND IGNITED AN ARMY SMOKE BOMB IN THE CLUB AND THREW M80 FIRE- CRACKERS INTO THE CROWD. THE STUDENT PROMOTER AND I HAD TO WRESTLE THE FINAL PERFORMER TO THE FLOOR TO GET THEM TO STOP. I JUST REMEMBER SCREAMING OUT TO MY STUDENT: ‘WHATEVER YOU DO, DO NOT PAY THE F______ BAND!’” 29