To the Editors,

Walker Evans’ overtly misogynistic agenda may no longer be as safely ignored as the mounting global tension or the inexorable buildup of solid waste.

When interviewed, an expert in the area responded: “Moreover, something like two-fifths of all the land is possessed by women.” [1]

Due to the recent influx of catfish ray tubes to the Oberlin-area, there no longer seems to be a willing audience for the sort of warmed-over-anonymous pseudo-political pond scum which my worthy opponent is peddling.

Further, his claims regarding the Hoboken Doctrine are not yet rated, and so young children should be kept at an arm’s length until the dust has settled to the floor, as have so many presidential candidates.

As far as the recent actions of our fair King George II – particularly his predilection for the restriction of same-day unicycle unions - I am certain that Mr. Evans will have quite a few wires to splice betwixt today and tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow.

–Joe Kimmel
Double degree junior

[1]Aristotle, The Politics,
II: ix, Property.