The Oberlin Review
<< Front page Sports November 4, 2005

In the Locker Room With Adam Morse

Adam Morse comes from the beer drinking, NASCAR racing and George Bush supporting Pine Tree State byway of Bath, Maine. The son of the former head mechanic from Hell’s Angels sat down with senior correspondent Matthew “Kapstar” Kaplan to discuss life, his teammates, being raised by a Hell’s Angel insider, art, music...oh, and his status on the cross country team.

MK: Tell me what it is like to be raised by the former head mechanic of Hell’s Angels. I mean...I don’t expect him to be coaching youth soccer, volunteering to be a chaperone to your third-grade fieldtrip and leading the choir.
AM: Because I grew up in the Maine boonies...he taught me how to survive in the wilderness.

MK: So he taught you how to fish, hike, kayak and read maps?
AM: Bro... He taught me how to take a standard bullet and turn it into a landmine. I bet you don’t know how to make that conversion.

MK: I bet you don’t realize that after printing this article Homeland Security will be banging down your door on Elm Street. Back to the point, what is the effectiveness of that technique?
AM: Because of my restrictive diet, I could not eat berries, plants and critters. I had to go for the big stuff, you know the four-legged animals. Common logic has it that a landmine is the most effective way of obtaining a large animal to survive off of.

MK: The cross country team has done really well this season. What does it take to be a successful runner?
AM: The key to surviving the elements is positive thinking and warm thoughts. You have to teach yourself to think positively when your legs are burning, your heart is about to explode and your leg hairs are frozen to your inner leg.

MK So what do you think about to get positive thoughts when you are running? There are many ways to induce positive thoughts. How do you get yours?
AM: I think about girls. I also think about my artwork and my website

MK: What do you think standout Travis Grout (NCAA Academic All-American/Politics major, registers a 3.67 GPA) is thinking about while running?
AM: Grout is thinking about binary code.

MK: What about the rest of your teammates like Tinker and Mathew Gordon?
AM: Tinker is thinking about hunger in Uganda. Gordon...honestly...he is thinking about sleep, girls, food and how bad this sucks to be running in a freezing climate.

MK: I know that art and music are very important elements in your life. Do you feel a responsibility being an artist at such a politically active school?
AM: Absolutely. I think anytime you have the opportunity to receive a world-class Oberlin education, it is your obligation to inform others. Honestly, a lot of the world’s problems could be solved if everyone felt a deep obligation to educate and inform those who do not have the option to attend a great place like Oberlin.

MK: I agree with you 100 percent but I believe your last statement was made by Miss USA.
AM: I make a mean woman behind this facial hair.

MK: Former Yeoman Hooper Ronnie Goines is an international fashion expert, a true “Divo” in all senses of the word. He believes that when you shave your facial hair it makes you look like a totally different person. Do you agree?
AM: Absolutely. But it makes me feel like a lion when I am out running. Wouldn’t you feel like a different person if you had facial hair and shaved?

MK: To be honest...I can’t grow facial hair. I know it is pathetic but I got nothing but peach fuzz. So I really can’t comment. We are heading into the winter season. If you could exchange a spot with any of the winter athletes...which team would you choose?
AM: Basketball. I would love to drain threes and rock my throwback red, white and blue Nike kicks.

MK: “Introducccing Adam MOOORSE as Forward.” How does that sound?
AM: Lovely. But, I would be so excited and overwhelmed that I would forget the plays.


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