The Oberlin Review \\ Perspectives

What do you have? What do you want?

What do you have? What do you want? We asked seniors what they want to will underclasspeople and underclasspeople what they want to be left by their graduating friends.

John Fedota is a college junior:

Since he's leaving and a lot of us will miss him and his wicked ways, I'd like it if Jim Woodroffe left me even a fraction of his craftyness-because after all, he's the shiftiest man at Oberlin College.

Rhoda Ullmann is a college sophomore:

I, Rhoda Ullmann, of scattered mind and tired body, do hereby wish for:

Scott Xavier's ability to handle stress and animosity,

Mr. Engelhardt's charm,

Amber's driving skills,

O.P's arms,

Joel's smoove dance moves,

and Kie's imagination.

That's all.

Ato Micah is a college sophomore:

I would like to be willed Kiese's writing ability and his stamina to stand the controversy that follows his publications, not forgetting your bald head. Gavin Malcolm, a lot has been said.You know what I want!. Hey Elana, I need your crazy hats.Yeah!, Tsitsi,I have been infected with your infectious laugh. Do not cure me before you leave for Stanford. Bokani and Badeti, don't forget the sharpeners. Least,I forget, Matt Bourque a little bit of your wit would do me wonders.

Keats Lancastah is a college senior:

I, Keats Lancastah, will my love for neck bones to TT Boy. I will my herb-smoking abilities to all straight-edges. I will my ability to sleep in class and still manage to pass most of the times to the guys on the football Team. I will my want to have big enough breasts so i have to wear a bra to all other nonbuff guys in the gym. I will my money from my trust fund to kids who don't have trust funds. I will my hate of the Review to people who like "LT" who haven't learned why it must be hated yet. I will myself to all of you. You can always stay at my house if you come to Texas, even though I live in California. Thank you.

Nicole Russo is a college sophomore:

I'd like J.T. to leave me all the assisted pull-ups I can handle, unlimited scooter rides around Oberlin, and his abs of steel.

Jonathan Millard is a college senior:

I have nothing left to will away. Please forget about me when I'm gone. All our pathetic pretensions and feeble quests for meaning come to nothing in the face of bitter and agonizing death. Have a nice day.

Cathy Doggett is a college senior:

I wish them to soak up every moment at Oberlin and push themselves to take advantage of everything outside the classroom that Oberlin has to offer-all the concerts, plays, Excos, nights at the sco, spontaneous trips to the feve, basketball games, and conversations- the kind that stretch your mind- all those things I wish I had gotten out my room and done more of long before my senior year. Most of all, don't take your friends for granted cause the people here are like endangered species in the "real world".

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