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Mary Margaret Towey: Curmudgeon's Corner

A matter of maturity

It's a real question, isn't it? Is college supposed to be the last gasp of childhood or the training ground for full adulthood? The problem is that too many of my fellow students want it both ways. When rights and privileges are discussed they are quick to point to physical and legal majority as evidence that they should be considered adults. Unfortunately, this same argument seems to disappear when responsibilities and duties are brought up. Hey, why can't we have our cake, and eat it too?

I once had a class that included a group of female students who spent the entire semester demonstrating total contempt for their fellow students, the instructor, and Oberlin in general. They wandered into class anywhere from ten to thirty minutes late nearly every day, brought food and ate while everyone else was trying to learn, and chattered among themselves openly while the instructor was trying to lecture. Being the novice student that I was, I was aghast at this behavior and aghast that everyone else seemed to be letting them get away with it. Since then, I've discovered that this is more the rule than the exception here at Oberlin. The word "punctuality" isn't even in the Oberlin vocabulary. "Fashionably late" is the watchword. There are no apologies for disrupting their classes, no guilt for the insult to hard-working instructors. It's like Oberlin is this giant educational drop-in center: wander in whenever you feel like it, wander back out whenever you want. People, this is NOT adult behavior.

In another, like, class I had this, like, classmate who seemed to be, like, constitutionally incapable of, like, speaking three or more, like, consecutive words without, like, saying the word "like." Out of, like, psychological self-defense I, like, learned to, like, tune her out, like, completely whenever she, like, opened her mouth. Since this was, like, a class that, like, required a LOT of, like, discussion groups this, like, speech habit put, like, a serious crimp in the, like, educational experience of the, like, class. For all we, like, knew this person may have been, like, expressing the, like, most incredibly revolutionary, like, insights into the, like, subject matter totally, like, lost to the, like, ages because no one could, like, bear to listen to her. Again, this was not, like, an isolated case. I, like, hear this sort of, like, thing everywhere I go on, like, the campus. I've got, like, news for you. This is, like, not going to go over, like, well with prospective employers one, two, or, like, three years from now. You can, like, have a Mensa-level IQ, and if you, like, sound like this they won't even, like, want you as a, like, temp mail clerk. And it takes YEARS to de-habituate improper speech habits.

One of the most offensive ways in which Oberlin students show a shocking lack of maturity is in the area of personal hygiene. Yeah, I know- disgusting subject. Almost as disgusting as some of THE subjects! Sure, the work load is heavy here, but that doesn't excuse giving up caring for yourself for the duration. How many times have I ended up tossing a nearly full tray into the disposal in the dining hall because someone wandered past trailing the effluvium of gut-split skunk? It kinda dims the appetite. I happened to sit in a different seat in one of my classes today, only to be "treated" to a case of halitosis wafting from behind me that was probably capable of sterilizing small amphibians at fifty yards. Not exactly Concentration Central. Over the summer my campus job included cleaning the keyboards in the public computer labs. Retch City. The dirt on the keys was so thick it had geologic strata and the only way to clean them was to soak them in dishwashing liquid overnight. Apparently few of my schoolmates wash their hands - ever. With the keys popped off and soaking, we'd find enough hair to make a complete wig, plus assorted other bodily debris like nail clippings and petrified boogers. Tell me, what sort of subhuman clips his or her nails while using a public computer? Personal hygiene isn't just a sign of maturity- it's a sign of a higher mammal.

I know that the Oberlin experience is based on "diversity." But there's diversity and diversity. Diversity is having different opinions, religions, or skin color; diversity is NOT coming to class looking like you're auditioning for the role of Bozo the Clown or Pigpen. Chronic tardiness, smoking, and poor personal hygiene (among other things) affect the innocent as well as the guilty, and are simply an abdication of the responsibilities of adult citizenship. In the words of your generation, don't talk the talk unless you're willing to walk the walk.

-Mary Margaret Towey is a college sophomore.

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Copyright © 1998, The Oberlin Review.
Volume 127, Number 3, September 18, 1998

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