Artitudes:

A Vegan blast from the past

As on most weekends in Oberlin, there are a few lame parties at which the minions drink copious amounts of budget beer and crowd in line for the bathroom. Sounds like fun, doesn't it? But you do it anyway, right? Well, this past weekend held a much different lure. This past weekend a band performed. A band from the past. A band with a reputation to "ROCK." A band that broke up a year ago. But last weekend, all was well for the Vegan Eaters, and Oberlin was once again whole.

Many may not remember who the Vegan Eaters were - specifically those born in the 1980s - but those of us who do remember them for their ability to take notice of the little things that happen every day, to chew them up and to spit them out in the form of punk. Essentially, the Vegan Eaters were the smurferific sultanas of Obie-Punkdom. "Those guys have so much punk in them that you can barely fit it in a one, no wait, a two-liter bottle," said junior James Kenler.

By now most of you - especially those who are too young to remember 3-2-1 Contact and the Bloodhound Gang - are probably wondering who the Vegan Eaters are. The band consists of senior Jesse Woghin on vocals and guitar, senior Tyler Kord on vocals and guitar (both are also founding members of Scenes from the Next), senior Gardner Swan on bass and vocals (a.k.a. deejay Agent Sunshine) and senior Brian Chase on drums.

The Vegan Eaters started the night of nostalgia off with their cult classic, "Theme Song." Emotions ran high as "Vegan Eaters" was chanted at full volume. It was enough to bring a tear to the eye of any D.I.Y. punk. They continued to "ROCK" by belting out such notables as "Crispy Patty," "Sensitive Guy," "Nazi Song (or We Are 5/8ths Jewish)" and "Raver Girl," a touching ballad about one band member's quest for love in a world filled with the evils of beverage dispensing.

No Vegan Eaters reunion would be complete without a little danger. Whether it was the two and a half minute version of "Kung Fu Princess," during which Gardner Swan, in true emo fashion, collapsed to the ground and sang most of the song in the fetal position, or "Low Hairline Guy," the fans always took advantage of the small, cramped venue to open up several moshing areas. One of the more memorable moments came when the drum set decided to self-destruct, taking Chase down in a blaze of glory.

"I bet that most people who have witnessed Scenes From the Next play never knew that Jesse Woghin's mouth was so huge," said senior tour promoter Jennie Kwon. "He screams big for a little guy. Who said punk was dead? Tyler and Jesse were both fighting the emo in them. I would hope that this show made the Vegan Eaters realize that the campus needs a little more of that punk rawk ass whooping they can give."

Woghin had only positive things to say when asked how he felt about the reunion. "This show was 22 years in the making, I couldn't see what was going on but I could feel the energy of great performers such as Leif Garret, Jim Varney and Izzy Strandlin flowing through us. How could it have not been a good show?"

As worn out as he was, Kord was still able to compliment himself on a fine performance. "Considering that we haven't played in two years, I shredded better than Steve Vai," he said. Kord went so far as to compare their set to a match-up between Pokemon adversaries Pickachu and Kingler. "We like children a lot!" he said. "But in a completely platonic punk rock sort of way!"

Not all of the band members held those same sentiments for the younger fans, especially for those born between the years 1980 and 1981. "We are all pretty excited about the April 20 release date of our anthology entitled It's So Hard to Say Goodbye to Yesterday Especially When You Are Wearing Concrete Shoes or Socks for Every Holiday," said Woghin. "It's on Capitol or Virgin records because we don't do the D.I.Y. shit anymore. Fuck the kids!"

Hopes for a more permanent Vegan Eaters reunion are high. "It was a lot of fun to see the band reunited," said senior Mimi Assad. "It was a true bonding experience for those of us who were there when it all began three years ago. I really hope they can keep it together this time."

All in all the Vegan eaters reunion performance, which include over 20 high-speed tunes, was a tour de force of musical aggression, or maybe that was tour de France, I'm not sure, but I will leave you with this: The Vegan Eaters really rock this under-experienced music reviewer right out of his chair... and bike riding is punk. Pickachu!