"I give my final farewell to the Dust Bowl. It's historic, that place - it should be nuked. But putting down turf will do for now."
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The sophomore swimmer assured herself a spot in the National Championships with a great time in the 100m backstroke. But Mercer didn't stop there, proceeding to brake her own record in the 50m freestyle by four hundreths of a second, cutting her time down to 24.56.
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Celeste Mercer (photo courtesy of S.I.D) |
Check into Phillips Gym Saturday for a conference matchup between the Battling Bishops and your own Yeomen, and make sure to catch the intramural b-ball championship at 3 p.m.
First off, where's Jesse?
NC: He scores better when he's not present anyway.
What exactly did you win?
JC: Intra Collegiate... I don't exactly know what it is?
What was your, as a team's, finest moment during the tourney?
TK: Maybe the freaky bird?
NC: Yeah, the freaky bird.
Freaky bird?
When did you discover the reset button?
JL: I actually thought it would reset Europe's 'The Final Countdown' over and over.
We have to ask: how heavy are your balls?
JL: I use three balls: one is a 14 pounder and black, one is eight pounds and pink - I just started using it - and one is a green 12 pounder.
JC: I use a nine and an 11 pounder... and I should mention Vino - he's just awesome.
TK: Immediately after my operation I used the very same eight pound pink ball, called the Pink Fury, that my team has adopted as its own. Recently I moved up to a 12 pound ball that is black.
Where did the group name come from?
And the weekly movie quiz: who plays you in the story of your bowling careers?
TK: I'm going to say Sean Connery, and I know he's an old man, but his voice is so sexy. I think he'd play me well. Or maybe Kenneth Branaugh.
NC: Can I change mine to Rosie O' Donnell?
TK: And mine to Webster... or Gary Coleman. I'm not sure, I'd have to see the screen tests.
JL: I'd go with the Deathwish 3-era Charles Bronson.
JC: I have no idea.
JL: I see a Fran Drescher...
TK: What about Faye Dunaway?
NC: Andre the Giant?
Anything else?
NC: Yeah, a man whose passion for bowling is unparalleled.
TK: Well said.
This week...
Sport: College and Pro Football
What it means: Once a team has scored a touchdown they have the option of going for the more traditional point after - a field goal - or a two-point conversion in which the team must pass or run the ball in. For the extra point, the ball is placed at the one-yard line, while it is placed at the two-yard line for the two-point conversion.
Copyright © 1999, The Oberlin Review. Contact us with your comments and suggestions.Marquee Event
Oberlin vs. Ohio Wesleyan
Saturday, 7:30 p.m.
IN THE LOCKERROOM WITH...Mr. Jeff and the Distroyers
Seniors Nate Cavalieri, Jennifer Cutler, Tyler Kord and Jesse Woghin, and junior Jeff Little are the members of the 1999 intramural bowling league championship squad. They sat down for a smoke and a chat about what they, as bowlers, are all about.
TK: Well... let's just say it was a long season.
TK: The league championships?
JL: When we told Team Lebowski to kiss our ass.
TK: True bowlers will know what that means.
NC: I thought it was the beer button and just kept pushing it.
NC: I have two balls, both are pink, one is eight pounds, one is eleven.
JL: [to others] Well, you came in one day and just started calling me Mr. Jeff. [to interviewer] They thought I was a gay hairdresser.
NC: Nicholas Cage.
JL: I personally would like to give a shout-out to Tom Reid.
This Week's Events
What are they talking about?
'Two-Point Conversion'
Volume 128, Number 12, December 10, 1999