What
Would Nina Do?
Dear
Nina,
I dont know what to do. This guy in one of my classes totally
hit on me and I dont even know him. The balls in my
court now. Should I ignore him? Lie and say I have a boyfriend?
Im just not interested and its totally awkward now.
I mean, I always thought he was gay anyway...
Reluctant
Heartbreaker
Dear
Heartbreaker,
Thats a toughie. Generally, my approach is to disregard the
obvious fact that the ball is in your court and do nothing, thereby
perpetuating unnecessary awkwardness, and putting the boy through
tedious days and weeks of wondering. Clearly that sounds like bad
advice, but Im gonna go with it.
The beautiful thing about it is you will actually spare him some
humiliation that would be unavoidable if you confronted him. Also,
after some time passes, you can really convince yourselves that
nothing embarrassing ever happened and probably be acquaintances.
Just dont ever let the conversation proceed past impersonal
greetings, or hell be all, Oh, she likes me but didnt
get that I was hitting on her and then hit on you more.
Otherwise, you could say you have a boyfriend, but how do you start
that conversation? Also, its only October. If you start dating
someone later and this guy finds out, he might figure out that you
were lying. You could tell him youre hopelessly in love with
someone else, or youre getting over someone or something.
All of these options are bound to make you feel ridiculous and it
will be even more awkward. Just pretend you dont know him.
Nina
Dear Nina,
My boyfriend and I are sexually active and have been together for
about 3 days now. The other day when I was reading his journal,
I read that he had had sex with some skank just 2 days before we
hooked up. Do you think that maybe I should confront him about it?
Hes probably over her and already falling in love with me,
yes? Oh Nina, what should I do?
Hopelessly Devoted
Dear
Hopeless,
I know an elementary school teacher who divides the behavior of
his students into two basic categories: making good choices and
making weird choices. It sounds like you have made some weird choices.
First, Im not sure whether boyfriend is appropriate
to say, here. I mean, three days? Secondly, reading his journal?
If you are really trying to establish a relationship, you should
not start by invading his privacy. Regardless, you are in a very
difficult situation because you know something you shouldnt,
and you cant really confront him. It would be more appropriately
a confession.
I hate to burst your bubble, but if you are OK with doing it after
two days or whatever, you should be comfortable with the possibility
that your partner does the same, all the time. Most importantly,
make sure you are very careful about safe sex.
If you really like this guy and think he is boyfriend material,
try to start over, slow it down and put both your pasts behind you.
And stop reading his journal, for crying out loud.
Nina
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