Heard
Here
Britney
Spears
Britney
Itd
be nice to say that Britney Spears new half-eponymous album,
Britney, contained something unexpected. That is, itd be nice
to say that theres a surprise anywhere on the album, that
theres a great pop song like
Baby One More Time,
Stronger or Lucky. Itd also be nice
if I could say that I shoot lasers from my eyes.
To say that a new Britney Spears album is a disappointment might
sound a little odd, but thats what Im gonna have to
say here. This is a really disappointing record. I truly enjoy listening
to some of her songs, indeed, I coud almost listen to Oops! I Did
it Again all the way through. But this latest effort is just painful.
One could argue, if one were okay with arguing this type of thing,
that this is a transitional album for Spears. Unfortunately, that
would be an idiotic argument. This album sees Spears trying to change
her image, no doubt, but its not a change into anything original
or interesting. Where she isnt being produced by her boyfriend
(NSyncs Justin Timberlake, for those who care or dont
know, on What its Like to be Me), or singing Dido-penned
atrociousness (on Im Not a Girl, Not Yet a Woman)
shes butchering yet another rock standard (I Love Rock
n Roll, after the travesty of Satisfaction
on Oops!). Even the usually-talented Neptunes cant save her
awfulness on the two songs they produce: Im a Slave
4 U and Boys. Predictably, the only songs worth
anything are those produced by those progenitors of modern American
trash pop themselves, Swedes Max Martin and Rami. They team up to
make Overprotected, and Bombastic Love,
both rather listenable. Cinderella is also a pretty
good track (though the Swedes do also produce Didos awful
song).
I could go on for a while here talking about Spears use/abuse/weirdness
toward her own sexuality. But I wont. Its not even worth
it. Shes trying to be Madonna and change her image each album
and gradually get more sexual, but its not working, since
Spears has neither the innate sexuality or singing talent of the
divine Ms. Ritchie Spears wont be going away anytime soon,
but at least we can stop paying attention to her. Well, maybe until
she poses in Playboy.
-Jacob
Kramer-Duffield
Hope
Sandoval and the Warm Inventions
Bavarian Fruit Bread
[Andrew
does not feel like writing this week. Andrew has bigger fish to
fry. Poo on you, he says. You can write your own
review.]
Despite
their ______(adj) ability to ______ (adv) channel lyrical angst
into a ______ (adj) and _______ (adj) expression of the _______(noun)
side of life, most _____ (adj) folks will admit that Mazzy Star
were a pretty ______ (adj) band. When I was in high school, I initially
did/didnt listen to them because I thought they were a bunch
of _______(noun). Yet as I became more aware of the ______ (noun)
and my ______ (noun), I started to genuinely ________(verb) Mazzy
Star for a number of reasons. For one, I found out that Hope Sandoval
(the bands ______(adj) frontwoman was a total ______(noun).
Her songs made me think about how to ______(verb) _______ (noun)
with a ______ (noun) in an entirely new way. When I heard her sing
Fade Into You, I would begin to _____(verb) like a _____(adj)
______(noun). Sandoval new band is called the Warm Inventions,
and they are rather ______(adj), even though they sound a little
bit like a really _____(adj) version of ____________(band name).
While those lyrics remain ______(adj) as ever, that Sandovals
______(adj) voice still makes them sound as _______(adj) as ____________(canonical
work of literature). The guitars are ______(adj) too, as they _______
(verb) through the mix like a _______(noun). In short, I would ________(verb)
this album to anyone who is a fan of _________ (adj) rock. If you
are so inclined, you might try listening to this after having a
bit of ______(kind of drug).
Adjectives:
angular, gorgeous, pleasant, dinky, smokin, passé,
hip, dainty, clever, lusty, uncanny, sexy, brilliant, vapid, fine,
important, dangerous, little, wimpy, morose, lame, sensitive, tender,
massive, succulent, dreamy, waifish, meaningful, poignant, odd,
fiery
Nouns: man, love, soul, mandibles, melancholy, pig, pansies, theory,
woman, trance, turd, damnation, tulip, slattern, honey, chimpanzee,
rifle, drama, knife, babe, cigarettes, significance, art, thugs,
disease, thistle, mayonnaise, boy, aesthetic, idiots
Verbs: sob, thrust, demolish, deny, appreciate, chortle, spit, dance,
recommend, pound, adore, understand, gulp, drive, make, devour,
listen, discuss, construct, shake, melt, slice, read, cough, moan,
undulate, reduce
Adverbs: thirstily, consistently, occasionally, increasingly, secondly,
slowly
Band Names: Slint, My Bloody Valentine, the Jesus and Mary Chain,
The Breeders
Canonical Literary Works: Melvilles Moby Dick, Pounds
Cantos, Eliots The Wasteland
Drugs: tea, cocaine, PCP, hash, LSD, crank
-Andrew
Simmons
Le
Tigre
Feminist Sweepstakes
Kathleen
Hanna was once the fiercest ideologue punk rock had ever seen. Bikini
Kill, the Olympia three-piece she fronted in the early 90s,
juiced its jackhammer guitar assault with uncomfortably explicit
tales of sexual and physical abuse, providing the inspiration for
the brief but provocative riot-grrrl movement. Drawing slut
and dyke across her body with magic marker, Hanna swirled
around the stage in a frenzy and let loose a banshee wail of declamatory
rage in powerful statements like Rebel Girl and New
Radio. The intent was to undermine the masculine power of
aggressive rock-and-roll by turning its weapons against itself,
creating an inclusive community where the theoretical result would
be a new definition of punk. The problem was that Bikini Kills
technical crudity and lacerating identity politics became ends unto
themselves and the polemical stridency was eventually outweighed
by the predictable approach of the music.
Enter Le Tigre. Leavening the politics with playful satire and fist-pumping
dance rhythms, Hannas new vehicle is considerable evidence
that the energy she derives from her feminist heroes and subculture
can be a great topic for a silly pop record. This is Hannas
re-definition of punk. Feminist Sweepstakes is much sparer and beat-heavy
than 1999s Le Tigre; one could even imagine a block party
where the funkiest tunes are mixed in with Missy Elliott and Jay-Z
without anybody noticing. Though not as consistent (F.Y.R.
is an unconvincing attempt at tying the feminist aesthetic to election
fraud and racism that just sounds forced, and the superfluous interludes
of Dyke March 2001 and Cry for Everything Bad
Thats Ever Happened add nothing) the high points are
as good as anything the group has done before.
Tres Bien is a hymn for an unappreciated artistic inspiration.
This theme was especially prevalent on Le Tigre, with Hanna giving
shout-outs to her favorite bands and intellectuals in Hot
Topic, but the robotic synthesizer and dub-like bass line
of this one are new steps forward. Keep on Livin
and Well Well Well are uplifting messages of perseverance
in this dark age for young progressives, injected with a persistent
dance bottom. The lyrics are mostly clipped phrases and catchy slogans
that glance by you quickly like billboard advertisements; their
superficial simplicity (Raise your hand/Raise your voice/Raise
your head/Up from the desk) clarify Hannas strong beliefs
for easy consumption.
Hanna is still that fierce ideologue, but now she has a sense of
humor. Le Tigres formula for success seems so simple that
its hard to imagine her running out of steam now.
-Zach English
Various
Artists
Music From and Inspired by Tony Hawk Pro Skater 3
When
I got my weekly new music notice from cdnow.com, I had to check
the album title on this bizarre creature twice just to make sure
I wasnt just delirious from lack of sleep. No, apparently
I wasnt hallucinating, as confirmed by the large rack of the
album itself that was staring me in the face at Best Buy. So I bought
it. Sociology experiment, of course.
Can we just talk about this for a second? Ive done a review
like this before, on the second Dawsons Creek
from and inspired by album. And even then I bemoaned the trend of
movie soundtrack to from-and-inspired-by movie soundtrack
to television show from-and-inspired-by soundtrack.
And now this, a freakin video game from-and inspired-by
soundtrack. And as with the Dawsons Creek soundtrack,
its just what you would expect, though rather than the overwrought
sappiness of Dawsons Creek, there is the fake
angst of skatekids, or rather the doubly fake angst of kids who
play skate video games. Selling a video game soundtrack to the overconsumer
kids who play video games isnt just crass, its damn
near cruel. Though if Maverick Records didnt take their money,
it would probably just go to other video games or for weed or Natural
Ice or some of those crappy new DC shoes. So I guess it evens out
in a weird way. And I guess I did buy this album, but, um, lets
ignore that for a second.
Lets go over the band names: Papa Roach, Onesidezero, Hometown
Hero, Millencolin, Pressure 4-S. These bands all suck, whether or
not youve heard of them. Nofx, Sum 41 and Pennywise are all
pretty innocuous pop-punk bands who sometimes have okay songs, but
their contributions here are also very much in the sucking. Ditto
on the good-sometimes-but-not-here with the Deftones,
who also pass with flying colors the used-to-be-pretty-good-then-decided-money-was-fun-and-now-suck
test. Only two bands on the CD are worth dedicating any listening
time to, and one of them (Outkast) contributes an already-overplayed
but still good song (Bombs Over Baghdad). So the only
reason you might ever buy this CD, unless youre 13 and like
pretty shitty music or really like playing Tony Hawk Pro Skater
3 and want the bonus CD, is Cut Chemist Suite,
by Ozomatli (which is also four years old, anyhow). Then again,
you could just go out and buy Ozomatlis self-titled album
that contains Cut Chemist Suite and a lot of other really
good songs, too, or go get their latest, Embrace the Chaos.
Oh yeah, and Tony Hawk used to be pretty cool back in the day. But
this just ruins it, Tony. Even after Heartbreakers, Jason Lee is
still cooler than you now. Plus hes in the new Fletch movie,
and thatll be pretty bomb.
-Jacob
Kramer-Duffield
|