What
Would Nina Do?
Dear
Nina,
I hooked up with this guy like two nights before I left for spring
break. There was a really natural, slow build-up and then we finally
made out and talked all night and it was great. But now its
really freakin awkward every time I see him in public. We
just meet up for bootie calls which is kind of sad.
Do I have to have talk with him? I hate talks!
Strong Silent Type
Dear
Angela,
Are you like meeting in the boiler room before study hall? I think
that whole Jordan Catalano thing is only cute if youre 16,
though it goes on all the time around here. You are having two typical
problems: the pre-break rapport vs. the post-break rapport, plus
the I cant talk to you in public problem. Welcome
to college! Isnt it fun?
Nobody likes having talks, except those people who do, but ew. Talks
with people you arent really involved with suck, so I support
the instinct to avoid that. In fact, Oberlin kids are, on the whole,
way too quick to unload all their emotional garbage onto each other
when they should relax and let things play out.
To solve both problems, my advice is to cutely suggest going on
an actual date. Make it specific, and if he isnt into it,
tell him to suck it. Be sure to bring this up when youre in
bed, as it is impossible for guys to admit they want to go on cute
dates in any other setting (like when theyre pretending they
dont like you in the Snack Bar or something).
Nina
Dear
Nina,
Im starting to toy with the idea of a lesbian affair or something.
I feel like a loser because Ive never made out with a girl.
I dont feel particularly attracted to girls, but I feel like
if I had a few beers, it would be kind of sexy. Anyway, Im
just getting nowhere with the dudes around here. But is that, like,
offensive to the gay community or whatever?
Jessica Stein
Dear
Lesbo Look-Alike
Ah, the liberal arts school tradition of turning into a lesbian
at midnight. Id say this is pretty trendy thing, the two-beer-queer
fad its huge! I dont particularly have any opinion
about this, although openly admitting that you think youll
be cool for sucking girl-face is clearly way lame.
If youre curious, go for it. Now is the time and its
certainly good not to close yourself off to things you might like
doing if you try. Just make sure youre not a fake lesbo tease.
I would imagine that making some girl feel like her lifestyle is
just a funny exotic vacation would be pretty annoying, especially
if she wants it to develop into something bigger. So be clear what
youre in for and enjoy.
Nina
Some
free advice from me concerning Drag Ball:
1.
Its cooler for girls to dress like boys than like prostitutes.
2. Boys: for the love of God, make an effort to conceal your package
in lycra mini-skirts, please!
3. Dont wear glasses theyll get foggy.
4. Be sure to eat a nice big meal before you start guzzling long
island iced teas, or whatever you kids are drinking. Seriously,
though, no one wants to leave on a stretcher. By big meal
I dont mean a salad or something, ladies. Im talking
about something absorbant like potatoes. And drink water.
5. Buddy system: I am not kidding. Drinking your weight in malt
liquor, in conjunction with wearing a Moulin Rouge costume can make
a person lower her inhibitions (read: standards). So
make sure you have a friend keep an eye out, in case you start humping
some freak or ex-boyfriend or anyone else you might regret humping.
Ah, am I showing my age or what? Have fun, kids, good, safe, gender-swapping
fun. And dont do it in Wilder. Very tacky and gross.
Love,
Nina
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