Poem in Latin

To the Editors:

De Recognitione Orbis Septem-Dies:

Silvani mihi quod placent nemora,
commendo vobis eas, omnes unam
praeter ne — liquidambarem, malam rem,
infernam styracifluam. Scelesta
clavis semena acuta! Te ego damno!!

In recognition of Earth Week:

Because the groves of Silvanus are pleasing to me,
I recommend them to you, all except one,
actually — The infernal Sweet Gum,
evil thing. Wretched
sharp seeds with points! Damn you!

—Maxwell Teitel-Paule
College first-year