Pointless Questions with Aaron Mucciolo

We’re back. How ‘bout a hand for the band?
Before we start, I must correct an error (please, no gasps of shock… I am but human…) Last week I attributed the ‘ladybugs’ question to Professor Emeritus of Philosophy Robert Grimm. I also misspelled his name. The question was, in fact, submitted by Visiting Associate Professor of Economics Charles L Grim. My apologies to both Prof. Grim and Prof. Grimm.

Why were participants at the D.C. protests advised not to carry, among other things, tampons?
No, you’re not experiencing déjà vu. It turns out that this question does indeed have a second answer. Said junior Kate Berrigan, a veteran of a few protests, “The main reason why tampons are not recommended for the kind of mass mobilizations that we have been seeing recently is tear gas. Tampons act as a wick, pulling toxins outside inside. Tear gas and pepper spray have also been linked to cancer — most people would agree that burning pain and cancer are two things you don’t want in your vagina or cervix.”
Thanks for the info Kate. If anyone else out there has more information on a question, please feel free to write in.

When were coin-operated vending machines invented?
In the first century CE, the Greek scientist Hero created a dispenser that required a five-drachma piece to operate. What did it dispense, you ask? Holy water. Go figure. When you deposited the coin, a stopper was lifted and an exact amount of water was dispensed—kinda like how you always get the same number of gumballs for your quarter.

What’s the point of having different file extensions for the same kind of file (for example — why are some image files “name.gif” and others “name.jpg”)? — Cat Richert, irritated Arts editor
Fear not technophobes — I believe I have found a way to answer this question without making you reach for a dictionary. I will make one basic assumption, however — if you don’t know what a computer file is, there’s a chance all this could get confusing.
File extensions tell you (and your computer) what file type you are dealing with. Different programs run different file types (you can’t play an MP3 with Microsoft Word, can you?) so you need to identify the file type to know whether you have the proper software program to use the file.
Perhaps an analogy is in order: When you go downstairs on Xmas morning, there are a whole bunch of wrapped boxes that look pretty much the same. What do you do? You look at the tag on the box to make sure Dad doesn’t get a Barbie or, more generally, the wrong person doesn’t get a gift they won’t known how to use.
Your computer, and the programs on it, needs to know the file type so it knows how to deal with the data in the file. At a fundamental level, all the data in all files is a string of ones and zeros called binary code. When the file was made, the data was organized and compressed or encoded—for the moment, let’s say tangled — in a particular way. Every time a program makes a file of a particular file type, it will tangle the data in the same way using a mathematical formula or algorithm. So all “.doc” files are all compressed using the same algorithm, all “.avi” files by their own algorithm, etc. To properly unravel the string so the data can be used, the program needs to know what algorithm tangled up the data.

This raises the question: If all the data is just ones and zeros, why can’t you write a program that knows all the algorithms? Well you can, but it would be huge — think about how long a program like Adobe Photoshop (which can handle many different image file types) takes to open and how much memory it takes up as opposed to PictureViewer (which can only handle the most common image file types).
More importantly, some types of data are less complicated to begin with. Take a look at a computer keyboard — there are only 256 characters (capital and lower-case letters, numbers, punctuation…) that an algorithm would have to encode for in order to reproduce any text document. A sound file on the other hand has many, many aspects — from pitch, to duration of the note, to volume — all of which an algorithm would need to encode to make sure your WinAmp or other sound playing program could understand it. And a video game is even more complex, requiring an even bigger, more complex algorithm. So a complete set of algorithms would be an inefficient use of space if all you wanted to do were read and write text files. By having each program recognize a small group of file types, your computer doesn’t get cluttered up with unnecessary algorithms.
Thanks to Mark Kornblum and Lincoln Ritter in the CS lab for taking time out from their marathon game of “Quake” to help with this answer.

Why were participants at the D.C. protests advised not to carry, among other things, tampons?
Okay now you’re experiencing déjà vu. I haven’t gotten much sleep recently. Moving on...

Why is WD-40 called WD-40?
Back in 1953 a chemist named Norm Larsen was attempting to develop a substance which would fight corrosion—a task accomplished by displacing water. The ‘WD’ stands for Water Displacer (not Water Displacement as some sources say… a subtle but crucial difference, I know). The formula was perfected on the company’s fortieth attempt.

That’s it folks. Enjoy your Thanksgiving.

Got a question? Think I missed something? Feel I said ‘algorithm’ way too much in this column? Email aaron.mucciolo@oberlin.edu or write to Pointless Questions c/o The Oberlin Review, Wilder Box 90.