You Can Say that Again

"Ask nothing more of me my sweet, all I could give you, I gave."

-Matt Winstanley,

senior, OC Plague

On his effort in last Friday's rematch against Case Western.

Men's lacrosse kicks off their 2000 campaign with a home opener tomorrow. Exciting first-years and steady goaltending hope to return the stickers to their winning ways.

Mike, how long have you been on Prozac?
AK: He grins.

MW: Uh, I've never been on Prozac and I'm not sure that's an appropriate question.

Andrew, who is the better athlete, you or your brother?
AK: My brother, definitely. No, I am, even though he thinks he is.

Are you upset that men don't wear skirts and play field hockey in this country?
AK: I'm upset that men don't play field hockey, but I don't think we wear skirts.

Mike, how many times have you been ejected from athletic events and how many times have opposing players beat you up?
MW: I've never been ejected from an Oberlin College event. I've been ejected from high school events. I've been ejected out of one basketball game for fighting and I've been punched in the face twice, but I won both fights...handily.

Are there any kinky lacrosse rituals we should know about? Any "drop the soap" games in the shower?
AK: Mike, in high school didn't your team play...

MW: Why are you bringing this up now?

AK: Relax. The whole "In the Locker Room" is a joke. They ask ridiculous questions and people give ridiculous answers.

Is one supposed to wear a cup in lacrosse?
MW: Yes.

AK: Yes.

Mike, why don't you wear one, then?
AK: No one's figured that out yet. I guess it's a mystery.

I guess we should ask you all if the team is going to do well.
AK: I think so. We'll do much better than last year. We have a lot of good players, and the team chemistry is much better than last year.

Too few players?
AK: We're low in numbers...

MW: But we have quality.

AK: We have a core of players who will do well.

MW: We have a lot of good individual players. The skill level is much higher than last year.

Mike?
MW: Yes?

Shut up.

This Week's Events

Men's Lacrosse

Saturday Mar. 11 vs. St. Vincent, 1:30 p.m.

Wednesday, Mar. 15 vs. Marietta, 4 p.m.

Men's Tennis

Saturday, Mar. 15 vs. Lake Erie, 10 a.m.

Saturday, Mar. 18 at Mount Union, 1 p.m.

Women's Tennis

Wednesday, Mar. 22 vs. Hiram, 3:30 p.m.

Saturday, Mar. 25 at Maryville, TN 11:00 a.m.

Swimming and Diving

Men - at NCAA Div. II Championships at Emory University, March 16-18 TBA

What are they talking about?

This week...

Two-line pass

Sport: Hockey

What it means: When the offensive team is moving the puck, they are not allowed to pass the puck over two lines. For example, if an offensive player passes the puck from his zone over the blue-line, over the red-line and another offensive player touches the puck before a defender can reach it, the ref whistles the team for a two-line pass infraction resulting in a face-off.