Rollerskating Delivers Glories of the '80s

Taking a break: Rollerskating can be great exercise and fun, especially at Country Skateland. (photo by Pauline Shapiro)

I had a red sweatshirt when I was in third grade. The bottom half was just red, but the top part had little speckles that glowed in the dark when seen in the correct lighting. Sure, I wore it casually - to school, around the house - but the only place where my sweatshirt could be seen in all its glory was the local roller rink.

Thanks to Country Skateland on Rt. 303 in Wellington, Oberlin students can re-live the glory, drama and turmoil of early elementary school social life. The little-known gem is a mere 10 minute drive away and will recall the Saturday mornings of your youth when cotton candy, Cyndi Lauper and the huge blisters on your right foot were the only things on your mind.

Unless you have your own skates, you'll have to cough up a small fee for rentals. While rollerblades are allowed, they seem to be looked down upon by the burgeoning generation of roller-youths, as none sported the footwear so prevalent on early episodes of Beverly Hills 90210. While those accustomed to blades will naturally lean back to access the brake, which is just anterior to the back wheel, such an action would proves devastating to a rollerskater, as the brake is at the front of the skate, commanding a delicate contrapposto pose.

The actual skating may not come back as quickly as you hope - especially if you haven't done it since multiplication was hard. Just after lacing up the skates, you may feel a bit awkward, largely due to a sticky carpet which one must traverse in order to arrive at the skating floor. The key to appearing like you've done this sometime in the '90s is to remain loose - no skater with straight legs looks cool.

However, if you find yourself at novice level or lower, you should expect to wipe out. The floor is unforgiving, and while one member of our party facetiously suggested she should probably wear kneepads, she soon found herself wishing she hadn't been joking. Wiping out is always embarrassing, but especially so at the roller-rink, since kids half your age will whizz by mockingly, chuckling at the crumpled-up college kid on the floor. Two employees, conspicuous because of their special skating elegance, will roll up promptly with the inevitable and embarrassing question, "Is he okay?"

The music is essential to the pace of the skating, and the pumping dance, metal and country really keep your wheels rolling. The crowd is dominated by the pre-teen variety, many of whom skate with enough grace and skill that it almost seems a mating ritual.

For the advanced skaters, the "challenges" part of the night comes at around 9:30. The limbo is the highlight and comes first. Two prepubescent girls with pink skates stand on either side of a wooden device supporting a delicate stick, judging who succeeds and who doesn't. The objective is to skate under this barrier without either knocking the stick down or falling down yourself. For those less competitive or confident of their ability, the hanky-panky, which follows directly after, suffices.

Country Skateland doubtlessly provides an exhilarating, if not slightly stressful, experience, for a low cost. For Obies seeking innovative dating excursions, the rink provides an excellent opportunity to impress your interest with your grace and daring - and after - your bruises and blisters.