Ruling
Travesty to Survivors
To
the Editors:
Dismissing the charges against two defendants in the recent sexual
assault case, Municipal Court Judge Martin Heberling stated that
he doesn’t “think there are too many young men who would
have interpreted [the victim’s] actions in any other way than
these two young men did.” I’m shocked that someone representing
the law that is supposed to protect us believes that there are circumstances
where rape is actually okay. In response, I have some advice for
Judge Heberling (and any “young men” who might agree with
him):
* If you’re holding her down, pulling her hair, hitting or
threatening her, she’s not willingly having sex with you.
* If she’s not willing, it’s rape. If you don’t know
if she’s willing, you’d better ask - you cannot just assume
she wants to have sex with you.
* Silence is NOT consent, especially if you’re threatening
to hurt her. If she doesn’t willingly say yes, you do not have
consent.
* If a girl is flirting with you, that does not necessarily mean
that she wants to have sex with you. Ditto for if she says you’re
attractive, is wearing “sexy” clothing or that she wants
to “hook up” with you.
* It is perfectly normal for a girl and two guys to hang out in
a room at night. It is NOT normal for the guys to prevent the girl
from leaving, beat her, threaten her and rape her.
* You are responsible for your behavior. It is not the responsibility
of the girl to assume that you “might” rape her and act
accordingly.
* No one is EVER “asking for it.”
I always thought all of this was obvious, but Judge Heberling’s
recent decision has made me rethink that belief. His decision has
made me reevaluate many of the things I believed in, actually, and
from these reevaluations come some thoughts for other women to ponder:
It’s not the man in the dark corner, it’s the one in your
class. It’s not the man with the knife breaking into your home,
it’s the one living downstairs in your dorm. That doesn’t
mean it’s all men, because it’s NOT, but it does mean
that, because of the actions of a few men, we are taking a risk
by trusting any man. A necessary risk, certainly, but at least in
this world, a risk nonetheless. Don’t count on the law to protect
you, because it’s not on your side. You are not safe, and you
never will be until we stop blaming the victim instead of the rapist.
I never thought I’d feel this way or say these things. I never
thought I’d feel unsafe on my own campus. I’m sorry if
you find this offensive; I find it sadly realistic. I’m not
a manhater or a militant feminist. I’m just a woman who’s
suddenly very, very scared of the world in which I live.
–Melissa
Threadgill
College sophomore
|