Drag Ball Pisses Off Student

To the Editors:

There is at least one aspect of "Drag Ball" — an event that I did not attend — that is demonstrably disgusting to individuals with any sense of hygiene. I will explain. You see, I entered DéCafe on the the ninth of April in order to get some snacks, which I planned on sitting down to eat. There was very little room in the dining area, but I noticed that the small alcove, close to the exit facing north, was empty. I approached the tables, not the least bit concerned for my health and well-being, as it never crossed my mind that there might be a lingering biohazard on the floor. Fascinatingly, I was informed by a janitor just as I set my purchase upon a table that I really should find somewhere else to sit. I asked why. To paraphrase, he explained that various activities took place in that alcove, and that the floor was now drenched in cleaning solution to combat whatever pathogens may have been left behind by urination. Apparently, some number of you engaged in very unorthodox activities with your bladders, in a place where I and others like to eat. Simply put, you decadent "scholars" put not only my health at risk, but anyone else who may have gone in there. I thought that this was an esteemed institution, where individuals were possessed of a contemplative nature. And the dining company that runs the DéCafe should be looked upon as either foolhardy or malicious for permitting that area to be open. I will leave open the possibility that the gentleman was misinformed, at which point I will stop looking at my peers and wonder whether they are potty-trained enough to attend class without defecating or urinating upon the floor.

–Jason McGhee
College senior