Caffeine: Colleges’ First Love

Have you ever had a morning where you are just too tired to think straight, and then remember that you haven’t had your morning coffee yet? If you’re anything like me, this will happen to you remarkably often, which brings me to the point of this little adventure into the land of “caffeine-ism.” Post-midterm stress has Oberlin consuming more caffeinated beverages than could be produced by a single factory, so it is more important than ever to face the facts about caffeine’s negative side effects.
Caffeine is addictive, a fact of which the entire campus is likely aware. However, what many might not know is that it can also produce severe side effects, and a little can go a very long way. Health risks associated with caffeine include elevated blood pressure, insomnia and diarrhea. That cup of coffee should be losing its longterm appeal right about now, as you picture yourself in a mad dash from your finals to the bathroom.
But how does caffeine work? It stimulates the nervous system, giving an increased sense of alertness and all those other good things that you feel when your eyes finally open fully in the morning. It also suppresses the body’s receptiveness to natural depressants, but does not suppress their production. Translation: while your body is making these depressants, the caffeine won’t let your system absorb them and they build up in the central nervous system until the caffeine wears off. Then you feel that familiar low as you sink back into the doldrums of a caffeine-less existence. And of course, with repeated exposure, the body builds up a tolerance to the stuff and you need more to get the same effects, so that the bad side effects increase while the good ones stay the same. For the same high, you will get a worse low with increased trouble sleeping.
So should I quit? Yes, you should. But not cold turkey. There are definitely disadvantages to the kinds of headaches you would set yourself up for with that strategy. Slowly decrease your intake by about one cup of caffeinated drink per day, until your consumption is at or under 300 mg per day. For example, if you had two cups of Pepsi for dinner last night, make it one of Pepsi and one of Sprite (or something similar) tonight. The sacrifice will be worth it when your between-class naps become more refreshing than before.
And if you want that same energy rush, go to the gym. You’ll get a rise in natural aphrodisiacs, without any buildup of depressants in your system (so you won’t get that same crash when your body has finished being happy). Plus, you’ll get an added benefit no that caffeinated beverage could ever possibly offer: an increased libido. Yes, you will be a lean, mean, unwired machine. So get on the wagon and off the caffeine and start your new life as a pop-less poster child!

–Emily Roberts
College junior