Everything you ever cared to know about superhero movies
By Matt Goldberg

I can think of four comic book movies off the top of my head which will hit theatres in 2003. You have the already-released Daredevil (which I liked, but popular response seems to be “eh, not bad”), the sequel to 2000’s X-Men, X-Men 2, The Hulk and The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen (or LXG, because as we all know, X=X-treme). Next year has even more on tap with The Amazing Spider-Man, Hellboy, and a whole host of other movies featuring people with superpowers and pleather outfits.
Let the groaning commence! Why can’t Hollywood find an original idea? Because this is a newspaper, let me give you a bit of news: most of what Hollywood churns out is taken from an already successful source. It’s been this way for a while now, so either go cry into your independent films or give the films a chance. However, I will cry with you when this whole madness blows up in Hollywood’s face; when we finally see films about such well-known superheroes as Sub-Mariner and Man-Thing.
Before I continue, let me just draw out a little progression of the rise and eventual fall of superhero movies. I would argue that the killing of the genre began with Batman & Robin. But then New Line Cinema took a chance on little-known superhero, Blade. Following the moderate success of Blade, 20th Century Fox decided to give X-Men a shot. After X-Men hit big, Sony got ready to release Spider-Man. Spidey blew away everyone’s expectations, nabbing the record for highest weekend box-office take ever. It’s because of Spider-Man that comic book movies are now coming out as fast as studios can make them. As with most matters, this is a double-edged sword. While many comic book fans will get to see their heroes come to life, it does somewhat halt the production of original movies. And while one comic company’s properties have helped superhero films, both companies will contribute to its downfall.
For those of you unfamiliar with comic book companies, the two major companies are Marvel and DC. Marvel’s making a handsome sum off of their comic properties as the original X-Men film grossed over $150 million and Spider-Man grossed over $100 million in its opening weekend alone. Yes, Marvel seems to be riding high, a streak that looks to continue from the look of the newest X2 and Hulk trailers. And with many more projects lined up, Marvel looks to have a long and prosperous future, right? Not exactly.
You see, for the most part, no one really cares from which company the superhero on the screen originates. Batman, Superman, Spider-Man, and every other superhero might as well come from the magical superhero factory. People just want to see a good action movie with a familiar face. However, when they see a bad action movie with a familiar face, then the whole sub-genre takes a hit.

Superman: the next big mistake in Hollywood superheroes
The downfall will most likely begin with this summer’s LXG. Reports of fighting between Sean Connery and director Stephen Norrington and a major departure from the successful comic both point in the direction of a disaster coming our way this July. Add to that a list of no-name properties in production and the market’s going to get flooded with crap.
DC’s bumbling of its superhero properties will sound the death knell. Subsequently, Warner Brothers, which owns DC, will be responsible for the fall of the superhero films. Anyone who’s been keeping tabs on the upcoming Superman movie knows what a train wreck this film’s going through and shooting has yet to begin.
First off, you have studio tool Brett Ratner directing the project. The man’s done nothing to distinguish himself as a serious director, obviously cares nothing for the original character and will do whatever it takes to turn this into mindless crap rather than giving us one of the world’s most beloved superheroes.
Second, you have Jon Peters producing. Now anyone who’s heard Kevin Smith’s story about writing the script for the failed Superman Lives knows that Jon Peters is insane. Hair-dresser-turned-producer Peters told Smith that he wanted three things in Smith’s draft: He didn’t want to see the classic red and blue suit He didn’t want to see Superman fly. He wanted a fight with a giant spider in the third act.
Peters had some other crazy demands, but if you want to know the whole story, just rent An Evening with Kevin Smith on DVD.
There are more problems with casting (Lara Flynn Swizzle, just stick as Lois Lane) as well as with the script, but I’ll just sum it up that this film will spell the end of superhero movies.
But I’d hate to leave you without any hope. About a month ago, a report came in that Christopher Nolan (Memento, Insomnia) might direct the next Batman film. While many of you may groan at this concept, I find it quite promising. Nolan’s obviously a fantastic director and he seems dedicated to making a movie about the character of Batman rather than turning it into a playground for visual style, a crime committed by previous directors Tim Burton and Joel Schumacher.
So now that I’ve mapped out the future of superhero films for you, just grin and bear it. I promise you that not all the properties will be bad, not all the stories will suck, and you might just have a good time. And if you don’t, hey, you can still hypothesize about why there are nipples on the batsuit.