Catholic school wasn’t something I chose, but while I have my bitter memories of those years, I’m glad I had the opportunity.

One of my better memories is my Synthesis class in 11th Grade, taught by Kathy Powers. Powers said there are many ways to have a relationship with God and Catholicism is only one way for that relationship to develop. She shared her personal reflection that has stayed with me always: it doesn’t matter what religion you are, just that you have a relationship with God. Religions are tools to get to a greater end.

When I came to Oberlin in 1999, I didn’t want to go to church anymore. It wasn’t that I decided not to be Catholic, but just not be a churchgoer. I eventually started cantoring Newman masses. Thus began my college Mass routine. Whenever the pianist needed me, I’d sing, but otherwise, I didn’t feel a need to go.

Powers’ lesson continued as I met friends who practiced religions I’d never heard of and some who didn’t claim to be anything at all. As a sophomore I was confiding in a friend when I was upset. He told me that he’d pray for me and I looked up, astonished.

“What, you don’t know that I pray?” he asked.

I’d assumed people who didn’t claim religion didn’t have faith.

I didn’t go to church for a few months after graduation. I was asking questions about God, religion, faith and spirituality. What are all of these? What do they mean to me or to the rest of the world? Do I need them? Why is religion so sexist? Should I forget religion and just go on my own faith? These questions led to even bigger questions, but I was too afraid to answer them.

Despite encouragement to seek my own answers, my solution to having questions was to go back to Mass. I joined a parish in Cleveland and got involved in their youth Mass, singing in a band. While I enjoyed my involvement, going to Mass only encouraged me to put aside my questions.

Some might see this as a sign of faith, but in reality, I was just running away from mine. I was running away from the lesson I had learned years before from Powers. I just wanted an easy path rather than the road less traveled by those that I knew.

It took some time and some big mistakes, but I got out of there. For the last few months, I’ve been doing what I had intended to do almost a year ago. I’ve been working on my own faith and finding its value and what it means. I’m answering my questions and finding ways to celebrate my faith without feeling the need to pick one of the narrow paths of religion. Now I see more truth in everyone and less need to group myself among the denomination.

It’s not about religion. It’s just about faith. And I’m not convinced that it’s faith in God that is to be concerned about. Faith, to me, is trusting and believing in the unknown. What is that unknown? Some say God, relationships, the human race, the world. Maybe the point is putting yourself out there to not truly understand something or know what will happen, but going with it anyway. Maybe more people at Oberlin have faiths that I had never considered before the last few months, many stronger than my own.