You Can Say that Again

"It's our last chance to prove to everyone that we have improved."

-Barya Schachter ,

Yeoman Sophomore

On the Oberlin football team's last game, tomorrow at Denison.

(photo courtesy of S.I.D Jeff Miller)

Bob and Rob, how is your season going so far?
BM: Well, it's been kinda tough: you can't underestimate the power of the ice machine. Its been giving me some pretty tough competition. You also have to keep an eye out on the whirlpool. Its been known to suprise people once in a while.
RM: With my injury I'm switching from a career in football to manwhoring.

What kind of injuries do you have?
BM: My humerous was basically laying on my pec.
RM: Yeah, you can open a Home Depot in Bob's shoulder.

What did you do Rob?
RM: I tore my anterior clitoral ligament in my left knee.

Interesting. How much did you guys play this year?
BM: I played for two games and one catch.
RM: I've always got game.

Are you disappointed that your playing time was cut short this year?
RM: I'm a player for life.
BM: Wow. I can't beat that one.

Do you get any sympathy for your injuries from girls?
BM: Not at all. [A tear runs down his cheek].
RM: No.

Would you call yourselves gimps?
RM: I'm a gimp in every sense of the word mama.
BM: We're big gimpin'...

So for whom did you two vote for on Tuesday?
BM: Not Ralph Nader.
RM: Mike Hawk. He's from Florida and has some really great ideas.

Who is your favorite football coach?
RM: Mike Hawk.
BM: Bill Cower [head coach of Pittsburgh Steelers]. He's pretty cool. Oops, I mean Coach Ramsey [head coach Jeff Ramsey] and Bobby [assistant Bobby Erhardt].

You've both been putting a great deal of work in the training room. Do you have any thoughts so far from your experiences there?
RM: I have noticed that there is abnormally large group of bald people � some naturally, such as Jordan [Kaltman], and others self-inflicted like Sean Landis.

What are you favorite football movies?
BM: All the Right Moves, starring Tom Cruise. It was filmed in my great hometown of Johnstown, Pa.
RM: Cheerleaders in Heat II.

So Bob, why do they call you Bigmon?
BM: Well Pretz, that's for me to know and for you to find out.

Umm...right. And Rob, I like Mike Hawk too.

This Week's Events

What are they talking about?

This week...

'Color Man'

Sport: Sports Broadcasting

What it means: Each television broadcasting crew includes an anchor and a color man. The color man is the broadcaster intended to provide insightful analysis due to some sort of previous connection with the sport. For example, John Madden is considered the color man for Fox's football coverage. Pat Summerall, the anchor, handles actual commentating and easing the audience into commercial breaks, while Madden provides more nuanced analysis of the technicalities of the sport.