Sports Shorts

Athlete Of the Week

Sophomore Troy DeWitt is co-captain of the baseball team and both pitches and plays the outfield. DeWitt hails from San Diego, Calif.
DeWitt started the Yeomen’s first game of the season against Thiel College on Wednesday and pitched all seven innings of regulation. He allowed four runs, only two of which were earned, on four hits. He struck out 10 while walking only two.
DeWitt left the mound with the score tied, but as the DH scored what turned out to be the winning run after he walked in the 10th.
DeWitt led the pitching staff in wins last year and was tied for the team lead in RBI with 22 and in doubles with seven.
The baseball team split their doubleheader against Thiel. The season continues with a doubleheader at Bluffton College on Saturday and a doubleheader at home against LaRoche College on Wednesday.

Quote of the Week

“I don’t think I’ve been on the field for that in my 70-something games.”

–Bob Montag
Senior co-captain of the baseball team

On the Yeomen’s error-free game two against Thiel on Wednesday.

Marquee Event

Baseball Doubleheader
Oberlin vs. LaRoche College
Wednesday, starting at 1 p.m.
Dill Field.

Barring bad Ohio weather, Oberlin baseball will hold its home opener on Wednesday with two games against LaRoche. The team will look to improve its 1-1 record.

In the Locker Room with. . .

In the basement of Burton Hall, world-weary first-year lacrosse player Mike McKenna details his perspectives on feminism, his special relationship with insects and the intricacies of his personal onanistic rituals.

So as you know, we have “Theory of Knowledge” class together. What do you think about the course?
MM: It’s fun.

Since we’ve discussed some feminist philosophy in the class, I’ll ask this. Do you consider yourself a feminist?
MM: No. I have nothing against feminists, though sometimes really radical feminists rub me the wrong way. I think some people are blinded by gender issues. They get tunnel vision.

What do you think of the feminists on Oberlin campus?
MM: I don’t know a lot of them. Of the few people I have met, they have been really cool.

What’s your ultimate life purpose?
MM: That’s a hard one. What I think would make me happy would be finding someone to have a family with, settling down in a nicer climate than Ohio.

Not really focusing on a career?
MM: Well, I sort of want to be a journalist, and I sort of want to get a law degree.

Me, too. Sort of…
MM: But more than likely, I’ll work in a job that I hate.

Wow. Rather pessimistic, eh?
MM: Well, my dad is an entomologist for the military.
Really…? Bugs…?
MM: Yeah. I was born in the Philippines. My dad also worked in Germany, and we were there when the Berlin wall came down.

But, wait…I want to hear about entomology. Are there a lot of bugs in your house?
MM: Well, my dad had a bunch of beetles in a box, once. And he did his dissertation on mosquitos and mosquito-borne diseases. I suppose you could consider him an expert in that field.

Who’s your greatest inspiration?

He looks perplexed, so I say—

Most people say God.
MM: Mine would have to be an actor, though. I did a lot of theater in high school, you know. So Kevin Spacey is my greatest inspiration. He’s just an amazing actor.

Are you planning on getting into theater again?
MM: I’ve thought about it.

Not that enthusiastic?
MM: Well, I was pessimistic about life before I came here. I had a bad theater experience during my senior year of high school. But I think it’s Irish melancholy.

So if you could be an animal, what would you be?
MM: Maybe a cheetah. Except I’m not that fast. I wish I was. In athletics, it helps to be fast…

No bugs?
MM: Maybe a scarab beetle… No, wait. A mountain goat because I’m sure-footed, and I’m tough.

Since we are talking on a couch right outside the office of The Oberlin Grape, an anonymous Grape staffer chimes in with his own question. This staff member is the editor-in-chief, actually, and specifically asks that his title be revealed while his name remains off the record because he thinks it’s funnier that way. He asks—

Which hand do you masturbate with?
MM: My left hand. I think it has something to do with lacrosse, because you have to be ambidextrous.

The Grape staffer then exclaims—

GEIC: I think that the proliferation of the internet has caused the right-handed males of our generation to learn to masturbate left-handed because of how the mouse is situated.

I change the subject.

Plan on doing any lacrosse after college?
MM: I’d like to coach.

All I can think is, “I’m stunned. What a great way to end an interview."