Sports
Shorts
Athlete
Of the Week
Despite Oberlin
College football’s close loss to Earlham College (28-21),
the offensive line did an excellent job of protecting their quarterback
and controlling the line of scrimmage for the run.
Starters Adam Miller, Drew Roebuck, Kevin Wohl, Kyle Neumeier and
Joe DeHondt played the entire game against a weight -superior Earlham
defensive line. By the end of the game Oberlin had rushed over 200
yards and successfully passed over 100 yards for a total of 326
yards.
Kyle Neumeier played a hard-nosed football game despite painful
injuries to his hand, helping the Yeoman to finish with only 3 sacks
on the day with more than 20 passing attempts.
Even Joe DeHondt, who as a first-year has much less experience as
compared to the opposition’s defensive line, turned in a great
game, along with Wohl, Roebuck and Miller, to control the line of
scrimmage and open up holes for the runningbacks. Although the offensive
line doesn’t rack up personal statistics in the record books,
the team could not have been nearly as offensively productive without
the heart and teamwork these five men put in.
The Yeomen will look for a victory this Saturday at 1 p.m. at Dill
Field, as they take on the Ohio Weslyan University Battling Bishops
in an attempt to pass OWU in the standings, which could give them
a place in the top half of the conference for the first time in
many years.
You
Can Say That Again. . .
“It was
the fullback who got us.”
– Jeff
Ramsey
Head Football Coach
On Saturday’s
tough loss to Earlham College.
In
the Locker Room with. . .
I’d have
to say that this week’s “In the Locker Room” was
much more fun to do than last week’s. Why? Because the first
thing that happened when I went into first-years Jared Pickard (men’s
lacrosse) and Chris Moran’s (men’s golf) room was that
I had a beer offered to me. Now if only I could pull them away from
that damn TV or extend their attention span for more than 20 seconds…
So what’s
your favorite channel?
J: Food Network
C: We like to call it “FoodNet”
Jared, the Men’s
Lacrosse team played one game in the fall against the University
of Toledo and won 10-1, how does the spring season look?
J: We’re
going to be undefeated. No, seriously, we’re going to be the
first undefeated Oberlin Men’s Lacrosse team.
C: I have no idea about lacrosse, but I doubt what Jared just said…
J: [points at TV] Whoa! Look at those pretzels! Oh sweet our porn
is almost done downloading. You should write something about Chris
liking bestiality.
C: Wait, you’re the one who’s downloading the porn!
Jared, how’s
Oberlin’s team compare to your high school team?
J: Not as good,
but we’re still going to be undefeated. Whoa, so THIS is how
you make a pretzel!
C: That looks good.
J: Wow…
Um, yeah....
So Chris, what about golf — you guys going to be any good
this year?
C: Uh, we suck,
but don’t tell anyone, it’s a secret.
J: I heard that the golf team sucks, but don’t tell anyone,
I think it’s a secret.
So what’s
the deal with the fish?
C & J: His
name is Marley.
C: He’s been stolen several times.
J: It’s ok though, because now we have an anti-theft device
[points at black ink on fishbowl that says “Do not steal me.”]
Once we found out who stole it and hung their diary and teddy bear
from a noose, but we’re honorable men so we didn’t read
the diary.
Why not?
Because who
wants to read about a girl saying [in a girly voice], “Oh
my boyfriend is impotent, I can’t believe I’m dating
a star attack man on the lacrosse team that was impotent —
twice” [end girly voice]. Seriously though, we didn’t
read it.
[TV advertisement
for Victoria Secret comes on]
J: Victoria
Secret models are so much hotter than Fruit of the Loom models.
C: That’s because Fruit of the Loom models are dressed like
fruit you idiot.
So are you two
roommates by chance?
C & J: Yeah.
J: Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night and find Chris
watching me sleeping.
C: I was looking for my inhaler.
How does that
make you feel Jared?
C: It makes
him feel horny.
J: Actually, no. It makes me feel wanted. Actually, change “wanted”
to warm and fuzzy in my bathing suit area, in a completely hetero
sort of way.
What’s
your favorite beer?
J: Beast Light,
my beer of choice.
C: I like all beer.
J: Yeah, take out Beast Light, as I wouldn’t want to choose
one so as to offend another. I like all beers.
Any final words?
J: No I gotta
race like a piss horse.
C: I can’t top that. Don’t steal our fish.
Marquee
Event
Football
vs. Ohio Wesleyan University,
Saturday, 1p.m.,
Dill Field
The football
team has matched last year’s win total and is looking for
more as they play before the Parents and Family Weekend crowd. |