Sports Shorts

Ask the Fans...
Have you ever been to an ice hockey game under the influence of alcohol?

“Under the influence, I once felt the need to take my shirt off in front of everybody. I think I was wearing a blue lace bra.”
-Flash Girl
Conservatory sophomore

“I’ve been so drunk that if someone would have slammed me against the boards I would have peed all over myself.”
-Reggie Dunlap
College sophomore

“Oh yeah, definitely.”
-Jim Reynolds
College first-year

“Oh God yes.”
-Voice of the People
College sophomore

“I think the question really is whether or not I have ever been to a hockey game sober.”
-North Dude
College sophomore

“Sure, guy.”
-Matthew Isaacs
College sophomore

“Well, we’re a bunch of dorky liberal arts who spent high school in band. Being able to get drunk and pound on glass is a great outlet for our years of supression.”
-Obnoxious Stevenson Beverage Employee
College first-year

“No.”
-Matt Merrins
College senior

“Well, I did tear down that B.W. sign that one of their moms made...it was the first time I ever got in a fight with an old lady.”
-Big Mon
College junior

 

You Can Say that Again
“The problem isn’t having sex the night before a game, the problem is when you stay out all night looking for it.”
- Chris Bamat
College first-year
Randomly talking to a teammate about the upcoming baseball season.

 

Athlete of the Week
John Limouze
John Limouze, a senior from Wyoming, Ohio, is the 2001 North Coast Athletic Conference (NCAC) champion in the 200-yard butterfly. Limouze, who won the event in 1999, finished in a time of 1:52.12 at the conference championships last weekend in Canton, Ohio. He edged out Carlos Vega of Kenyon College by seven hundredths of a second. The defending NCAA Division III champion in the 200 butterfly, Limouze qualified for nationals with a time of 1:51.27 at the Miami (Ohio) Invitational in December. Limouze set the school record in the 200 butterfly at the NCAA championships last season with a time of 1:50.47. He also set the school record in the 100 butterfly this season with a time of 50.75 at the Miami Invitational.

 

Upcoming Events

Men’s Basketball
Saturday, vs. Earlham College, at Phillips Gymnasium, 
3 p.m.

Women’s Basketball
Saturday, vs. Earlham College, at Phillips Gymnasium, 
1 p.m.

Men’s Tennis
Saturday, vs. John Carroll, at Heisman Fieldhouse, 10 a.m.
Sunday, vs. Albion, at Heisman Fieldhouse, 10 a.m.

Women’s Tennis
Sunday, vs. Albion College, at Heisman Fieldhouse, 10 a.m.

Club Sports

Ice Hockey
Saturday, vs. Baldwin Wallace
9:45 p.m.

Equestrian Team
Intercollegiate Horse Show Association, Huntfoot Show
Saturday and Sunday, 
at Lake Erie College

 

What are they talking about?
“Unshaved”
Sport: Swimming
What it means: Yes, this actually relates to swimming and not just going with the rugged look. In swimming, going unshaved means competing in a race without shaving your body hair. Swimmers who shave their body hair do so in order to increase their speed and lower their times. C’mon, is it worth it guys?

 

Marquee Event
Ice Hockey
vs. Baldwin-Wallace College
Tomorrow night, 9:45 p.m.
It’s the Plague’s last home game of the season, and the team will be looking to go out in style against Baldwin-Wallace. B.W. is bussing in fans for the game, so don’t miss the chance to participate in a heated rivalry.

 

This Week in Sports
Looks That Could Kill (Your Computer)
Last year it was the “I love you” virus, this year it is tennis star Anna Kournikova. Kournikova can’t do any damage on the courts if her life depended on it, but a recent computer virus in the guise of an electronic photo of her has caused damage to thousands of people’s computers. Like the “I love you” virus, evil Kournikova sends herself to everyone in your address book when you click on her picture.

Bye, Bye, Bye, Three Rivers Stadium
On Monday, the former stadium of the Pittsburgh Steelers and Pirates was sent crumbling to the ground. The $5.1 million implosion lasted about 19 seconds - fairly close the amount of time the Pirates actually played well last season.

Do I Get Money For These Espys?
Tiger Woods won four “Espy” Awards on Tuesday night, which gave him a record breaking career total of 11 Espys. With his final award of the night, “Male Athlete of the Year,” Woods surpassed Michael Jordan’s total of 10 Espys. The Espy awards stand for Excellence in Sports Yearly. Other winners included Pedro Martinez, for Baseball Player of the Year and Shaquille O’Neal for Basketball Player of the Year.

Grizzlies Aboot to Have Relocat-shawn
Eh? That’s right - The Vancouver Grizzlies, of the National Basketball Association, received permission from the league on Monday to explore a move to another city. New Orleans, who already has a new arena, is the top city in contention. If the city wins, the first priority of business will be to change the normal jerseys into overalls, and on Mardi Gras the team will go shirtless like the rest of the city.

 

In the Locker Room with. . .
Zach Rudisin
Rudisin, a senior sprinter on the men’s track and field team, spent his Winter Term chasing his dream rather than opposing runners.

So Zach, how is your season going so far?

ZR: Well, so far our season is going pretty well. We’ve had only one meet with the entire team this season, and most of the people who have been running aren’t 100 percent healthy.

Does your team have any goals for the rest of the season?

ZR: Yeah, we hope to be competitive in the conference championships for indoor, and come springtime we should be really strong.

So I understand that you are making a movie?

ZR: I’ve always wanted to do filmmaking. The main reason I am doing it is to see if it is something I really want to pursue.

So tell me a little about your movie.

ZR: Well, me Steffon [Thomas, sophomore sprinter] and Dan [Blackburn, junior thrower] decided to do it for our Winter Term Project. Steffon is the main character.

Who does he play?

ZR: Steff plays the part of Malcolm. Malcolm was a star sprinter, and faces a lot of obstacles on his way to a comeback.

Is your film going to be playing anywhere?

ZR: Well, we’re hoping to possibly play it in a lecture hall or something.

What’s your favorite sports movie?

ZR: The Program.

So have you guys had any funny things happen to you during track practice?

ZR: Well, not really.

Really, don’t you guys hang out together?

ZR: Actually, the sprinters, distance runners and throwers are really separated. We all kind of do our own thing.

So you have gangs then. Do you ever rumble?

ZR: No, we haven’t had any fights yet. We joke a lot, though.

Were you pleased with the crowd turnout at the last track meet?

ZR: Yeah, but most of the people there were parents and friends of runners from other schools.

Why do you think that it’s hard to get people to come to track meets?

ZR: Track is boring. It’s four hours of running and people throwing a little ball.

Do you think if live animals chased you while you ran more people would come?

ZR: [clearly not amused] No.

Do you think you would beat Coach [Tom] Mulligan in a race?

ZR: Oh yeah, definitely.

What about in a long distance run?

ZR: Oh, no way in hell.

Who’s your favorite sprinter?

ZR: I would have to say Michael Johnson.

He’s bad-ass. Are you a bad-ass sprinter, Zach?

ZR: I would not describe myself as bad-ass.

So how do you get along with fellow director Dan?

ZR: Dan Blackburn is a piece of shit. He can’t throw. He has no knees.

Is Dan going to be mad reading this?

ZR: Well, he’ll probably just rip on me about how my quad is strained.

God, I can feel the love.