Order up a Taste of the U.S-of A at Fort's in Wellington
by WILLIAM SCHUTT

Too many Oberlin students graduate without ever meeting locals or experiencing the culture of the surrounding community. You are a part of that community and now is the time to recognize your role. If you have a car, want to ride the sketchy bus or have long hours to waste walking, head south on Route 58 to Wellington, where the buildings are red brick and their windows display blue-tint bottles and rusty nails and you'll feel like you're in an older version of the real world.
That's when you catch the red sign for Fort's on your left, after the first big light in big letters reading "Bar and Restaurant." At Fort's, even the menu is old. Or should that be "olde"?
You can listen to Hank Williams' "There's a Tear in my Beer" on the jukebox and you might shed a few after the locals have a go with your sorry college ass. Really, everyone is friendly. And, like Hank Williams, you too may keel over before the world wishes you a happy 30th after swilling the pot roast and chicken poppers. Then, of course, the final piece of pie: cherry, apple, pecan and almond pecan (don't worry, they also have cake).
If you're hungry for breakfast, the farmboy's special of eggs, potatoes, toast and your choice of accompanying meat goes for less than $4. The burgers have taste if you're thinking that way.
Here is America, apparently. There are three muted television sets by the bar. One shows a ball game, another the news and the last sometimes actually plays the recording of man's first moon-step. The dartboards are equally half-active; the lights are on but for some reason the staff has decided to place tables directly in the line of fire. By the cash register is a Bud Light ad with interminably shifting backgrounds - Miami, New York, Chicago, L.A. (every good American city serves up Bud Light. Sorry, no Oberlin).
On the opposite wall you can lose yourself in the nature murals. Fish, pheasants and deer heads adorn these walls but before you get your protest signs out, rest assured they are not real.
The food is good and the prices are low. The staff is friendly and service is quick. If you like places with Indians and Browns decorations, this place will serve your poster-starved desires. Smokers, you can take that long, extended break from the cold - from the basement bathroom, from Cypress Gardens - this place is a bar and therefore smoke abounds. You don't have to eat if you're looking for a drink or two - the staff would probably recommend a Bud Light if you are young and unsure and want to get away from the PBR.
So take a step outside and hitch that ride; don't look too far, though. Sometimes it is better to start small. If all you are doing is exploring for a bite to eat, Fort's is a logical stop on the way. A good stop. A breather from all that jazz. An authentic Lorain county experience.