Smith: It’s Good to be the King

To the Editor:

There has been a lot of talk about “multiculturalism,” “safe spaces” and “white racism” around here lately. I just thought I’d remind everybody that white, straight, middle-class males enjoy privileges in this society: privileges in which people of color, queers, women and the poor cannot partake. As a white, straight, middle-class male, I’d like to announce that it’s very nice having those privileges. Nyah, nyah, nyah!

Losers!

How’s that for bourgeois decadence, you Bolsheviks?

Postscript to [sophomore] Patrick Schwemmer: You are a schmuck. Your editorial cartoon on this issue was a complete failure for two reasons: 1. You had to explain it with a footnote and 2. You practically apologized for it in that footnote. Why didn’t you either write a better cartoon or trust your readers to understand the one you did write? Are we also schmucks?

–S. Andrew “Racist Schmuck” Smith 
Conservatory senior