Call for Return of Sodexho Marriott Dining Service

To the Editors:

Last week, in a brilliant aside, Senior Mike Connor wrote: “At any rate, if you don’t figure out a way to get out of the red, then maybe it’s time we brought back good ol’ Marriott. They knew how to deal with thieves: Throw them in a private prison and rent them out as slave labor.”

Never have truer words been spoken! For those too young (or high) to remember the great hullabaloo of a couple years ago, I will quickly recount the tale. You see Oberlin’s dining service used to be run by a little mom and pop business affectionately known as Sodexho Marriott Services. However, a few “doo gooder” Obies were all up in arms with poor ol’ SMS because they ran private prisons. I never much understood their problem with private prisons, I mean we all have chosen to go to a private school, ergo we must think private institutions are better than their public counterparts. If public institutions aren’t good enough for Obies, why should we force prisoners to endure them?

Anyway, the geniuses over at SMS figured out that you could pay prisoners a weekly wage consisting of nothing more than a carton of cigarettes and a coupon for an extra hour in the conjugal visits trailer behind the prison. However, due to our breakup with SMS, the days when the Decafé could get ultra-cheap donuts from the Lorain County Prison Pastry Shoppe are long gone, hence the ridiculously high prices of our meal plan this year.

I must admit, a couple of years ago I was all for the “not with our money,” anti-slave labor campaign to kick out Sedexho. But that was before I realized that it would directly lead to a cut in my flex dollars allotment! As much as I would like to blame this on Dean Goldsmith (along with my library fines, the War on Terrorism and my inability to get dates), I fear we have only ourselves to blame. As a result, I think it is time that we invite Sodexho Marriott back! I will be leading a petition drive under the banner of “Not with Our Flex Dollars.” I must warn you it might not be pretty, the drive for social justice rarely is. If our demands aren’t quickly and swiftly met we might have to occupy Cox or even erect giant protest puppets. Despite the dangers, I hope I can count on your support in this campaign. I am confidant that together we can change the world!

– Noah Heller
College senior