Sports Shorts

Dubious Sports Quotes

“Because she is too ugly to kiss goodbye.”
-Bum Phillips
Former Houston Oiler Coach
When asked why he takes his wife on all the road trips

“We have only one person to blame, and that’s each other.”
-Barry Beck
Former New York Ranger

“We’re going to turn this team around 360 degrees.”
-Jason Kidd
Phoenix Suns Guard

“It’s just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up.”
-Muhammad Ali
Former Heavyweight Champion

“We’ve been working on the basics because, basically, we’ve been having trouble with the basics.”
-Bob Ojeda
Former Major League Pitcher

“The word ‘genius’ isn’t applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein.”
-Joe Theisman
Former NFL Quarterback

“Half this game is 90 percent mental.”
-Danny Ozark
Former Philadelphia
Philles Manager

“We all get heavier as we get older because there is a lot more information in our heads.”
-Vlade Divac
Sacramento Kings Forward

“Sure, there have been deaths and injuries in boxing, but none of them serious.”
-Alan Writer
Sports Writer

“Not only is he ambidextrous, but he can throw with either hand.”
-Duffy Daugherty
Former College Football Coach

“This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother.”
-Ted Walsh
Horse Racing Commentator

You Can Say that Again

“The ump made the call and that was the call and that’s that.”

-Rob Smith
First-year pitcher

On a disputed bad call by the umpire in a recent home game.

Athlete of the Week 

David Smolev

Smolev, a junior goalkeeper for the men’s lacrosse team, scored a goal, his second of the season, and tallied 22 saves in the Yeomen’s 15-7 victory over Medaille (N.Y.) College last Saturday. For the year, Smolev has totaled 236 saves, with a save percentage of .558 . Oberlin’s victory Medaille was their second of the season, with their other win coming against Marietta College in their first game of the season. In the win over Medaille, junior Mike Wexler scored six goals, sophomore Erik Vachon chipped in four, sophomore Pete Dybdahl scored two and junior Brian Lange added two goals.

This Week in Sports

Knoblauch Harassed by Former Fans

Chuck Knoblauch, the left-fielder for the New York Yankees, and former Minnesota Twins second baseman, was pelted by hot dogs, beer bottles and golf balls by fans of his former team in a game on Wednesday. About the incident, a philosophical Knoblauch said, “I wasn’t in the mood for any beer.”

Cris Carter To Retire After Next Season

Minnesota Viking wide receiver Cris Carter, one of only two players in NFL history with more than 1,000 receptions, announced that he will retire after the conclusion of next season. Last season, he caught his 1,000th pass and played in his eighth consecutive Pro Bowl.

Ramirez and Gonzalez Duking it Out

Manny Ramirez of the Boston Red Sox, and Juan Gonzalez of the Cleveland Indians, are second and third in the majors in batting average, and first and second in RBIs, respectively.


Baseball Sweeps LaRoche College In Doubleheader

Ramsey not Re-hired for V-Ball

Men’s Lacrosse Takes Medaille to School

Outside Oberlin

Softball Concludes Season With Two Losses

Yeowomen Finish Fourth in Conference Tourney

Women’s Lax Loses at Kenyon

Horsecows Close Season, Finish Fourth in Region

Kegglers Finish 2nd

OCET Gets Down And Dirty